Choosing Professionals

What a Good Patient-Provider Relationship Looks Like, According to Readers

Trust. Compassion. Validation. Advocacy. These are the qualities that take health care to the next level, according to ADDitude readers.

By ADDitude Editors, Updated on May 9, 2025
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Finding a healthcare provider who is both well-versed in ADHD and a good fit can is the Number One barrier to quality ADHD care, according a recent ADDitude reader survey. The right professional can make a world of difference — a personal touch goes a long way — but with rising mental health concerns and a limited number of clinicians trained to address them, not everyone has been so lucky. Add waitlists, stimulant shortages, skewed research, and outdated guidelines, and it’s easy to understand why many patients with ADHD — adults and caregivers — are eager for more guidance.

The comments below are a true testament to the difference a trained provider can make in your ADHD journey. These ADDitude readers recall interactions with clinicians who made them feel seen and understood… and offer hope to those adults and caregivers who are struggling to get their needs met.

Patient-Provider Relationship: Positive Interactions

“As soon as I met my current psychiatrist, we clicked. I felt like she understood my symptoms and my struggles right from the beginning. It has made it easier to trust her with details about how my meds are helping or not helping — knowing that she will believe me.” — Jenna

“We had a really great mental health/psych evaluation years ago. The provider wrote a very wonderful story for my child to help him understand his diagnosis. It was based on the animal character to which my son related best. My son, sadly, picked a Sasquatch, which just about broke my heart. He said it was because he liked to just be left alone. The provider wrote a story about how the Sasquatch elders would help him to not be so alone.” — Katie, Oregon

“When talking with my new gynecologist about hormone replacement therapy, I advised her I may need a higher dose of Estradiol due to ADHD. She was unfamiliar with the ADHD-estrogen relationship but said she was always interested in learning more. I sent her a few links to studies (the scant few available so far), and we were able to develop a few options for treatment in conjunction with my ADHD meds.” — Paulette

[Free Class: ADHD Treatment Guide for Adults]

“…My son’s psychiatrist turned to me and said, ‘Your son has a neurodivergent brain. It’s like his brain processes information in a different language.’ We had recently been in a foreign country, so it was easy to compare. That wonderful psychiatrist was the start of our journey to understanding and providing appropriate support for our burnt-out teenager.” — Karen, New Zealand

“When we connected with our new psychiatrist, it was the first time we felt ‘seen’ and understood by someone. With a complex diagnosis of ADHD and autism in an extremely bright child, it was difficult to get someone to see [my son’s] difficulties. Once we realized she got it, it was such a relief. She said, ‘We have a lot of work to do…but we’ll get there. Don’t worry.’” — Leslie, Pennsylvania

“When talking to a psychologist for stress management, he just tossed out that I had ADHD. I had suspected it for a long time, but I felt like someone had finally noticed why things were so stressful.” — Ann, California

“When I finally got to see a psychiatrist, who confirmed my suspicion that I had ADHD (at age 35), I felt very validated. My family doctor had just put me on antidepressants, which didn’t work for me at all. It was great to know I wasn’t actually crazy.” — Claire, Canada

[Read: “Here’s How I Found an ADHD Specialist Near Me.”]

“We hired an occupational therapist to help our son with self-regulation. She saw all the good things in our son that we didn’t see due to the impulsivity issues he was having at school, summer camps, etc. She really helped us to see him for the amazing child he is and opened our eyes to the curiosity behind behavior that got him into trouble.” — Tiffany, Canada

“When my son was in elementary school, the school counselor had a wonderful relationship and bond with him. During a meeting at school, she told me: “Everyone focuses on his behavior challenges, but I want to acknowledge his personality and what a bright and caring kid he is. Yes, he has lots of challenges, but he’s also a great kid. Don’t forget that.” This was after a serious incident involving my son. I felt that she was really on our side and truly cared about him. The others in the meeting were talking negatively about him; she stood up for him.” — An ADDitude reader

“For me, it was a counselor at a crisis center. This was before my ADHD diagnosis, and I was in a depression/anxiety crisis in which my significant other had called 911. The police response took me to this center, and the counselor on duty (it was after midnight and she was the only one there) happened to be the most amazing fit for me. I usually would resist speaking to counselors in these settings, but something about her had me feeling comfortable enough to be honest. She said things that ‘clicked’ and got my wheels turning, which propelled me to seek out a diagnosis. Two months later, I was finally getting the correct diagnosis of ADHD, and my life changed forever.” — Laura, Oregon

The Patient-Provider Relationship: Next Steps

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