ADHD Humor: You Know You Have ADHD When…
…you read the last page of a book first because you can’t wait to find out how it ends, or you hunt for your cell phone while you’re talking on it…
We asked, “You know you have ADHD when…” and you shared these funny, sad, and poignant ADHDisms. Read. Share. Enjoy. Here’s to living well with — and finding humor in — attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)!
1. You can’t find your car keys or your spare set, and your husband is hesitant to lend you his keys because you will probably misplace those, too. (And, you agree, he may be right!)
—Kathy Zimovan, South Carolina
2. You can’t see your alarm clock on the nightstand because of the stack of books you’re reading — all at the same time.
—Stan Herring, Birmingham, Alabama
3. You buy another organizing system, to organize your last five organizing systems.
—Letta Neely, Boston, Massachusetts
4. You look for your eyeglasses, and they are sitting on top of your head, or you find the remote control for the DVD player in the refrigerator.
—Melissa, Hampton, New Jersey
5. You can’t see over the piles of paper in your office, but when someone asks you for a document, you say, “Oh, that is in this pile.”
—Rebecca Chadwick, Wyomissing, Pennsylvania
6. You forget what you were doing in the middle of taking a shower!
—Angela Kohlbrecher, Breezy Point, New York
7. You stop at a stop sign, sit there, and stare at the sign, waiting for it to turn green.
—Dennis Murdock, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
8. Your students remind you of what you were talking about before you were distracted by one of them sneezing.
—Rebecca Taylor, High Point, North Carolina
9. While considering your answer to a question, you wonder what’s for supper.
—Cindy, Chicopee, Massachusetts
10. The person sitting beside you grabs your attention, but so does the heating unit shutting on and off, the fluorescent light flickering above you, and a bird flying by the window!
—Kimberly Zimmerman, Kansas
11. I’m sorry. What was the question again?
—An ADDitude Reader
12. Going shopping takes three attempts.
—Syrah, ADDitudemag.com forums member
13. You have enough money in the bank to pay bills, yet you simply forget to!
—Nancy, ADDitudemag.com forums member
14. You’re talking on the phone and have a moment of panic where you ask, “Where is my phone!?!” and tell the person on the other end of the line that you’ve lost your phone.
—roneydapony, ADDitudemag.com forums member
15. You lose something you need…and you haven’t moved from your seat.
16. You wonder about the weird sound “everyone else’s” cars are making, only to realize, 15 minutes down the road, that you’ve been driving with your parking brake on!
—Courey, ADDitudemag.com forums member
17. You dial a number, but, by the time someone answers, you forget who you’re calling.
—stew4aa, ADDitudemag.com forums member
18. You realize you have five years’ worth of Christmas cards nicely printed, stuffed, addressed, and never mailed!
—kan65, ADDitudemag.com forums member
19. Your spouse asks you for a cup of water and you go and make a peanut butter sandwich for yourself…
—JD, ADDitudemag.com forums member
20. You spend almost an hour looking for your favorite watch, give up, and grab another watch. After you pull up your long sleeve to put the watch on, you stare for a few minutes because your favorite watch is already on your hand.
—Adsartha, ADDitudemag.com forums member
21. You start cleaning the kitchen…and find something that belongs in the office. You go to the office to put it away, sit down to check your e-mail, go on Facebook instead, decide to write a poem, and several hours later realize that the water in the sink is cold.
—wifemomstudent, ADDitudemag.com forums member
22. You leave with enough time to be early for your ADD doctor’s appointment, but are thinking of other things and drive to work instead and end up late.
—Graceful Dave, ADDitudemag.com forums member
23. You would rather have your purse stolen than your planner! You can replace the stuff in your purse — it would be a hassle, but it can be done. But your planner — that’s your life!
—Wander, ADDitudemag.com forums member
24. You lose your son in your house. You were busy going through paperwork, when you absent-mindedly put your 20 month-old son down for a nap. Ten minutes later you come into the living room where your son normally is playing and don’t see him. You panic and yell, “I lost Jacob! I lost Jacob!” Your neighbor comes running to your apartment, with phone in hand, ready to dial 911, but she finds your son sound asleep in his bed.
—rozie, ADDitudemag.com forums member
25. You drain the can of soup you just opened for lunch.
—spazmom, ADDitudemag.com forums member