“What I Love About My Wife with ADHD”
Google will tell you that marriage with ADHD is difficult, but there are so many traits that come along with the condition I wouldn’t trade in for the world. They make my wife the woman I love.
I asked my amazingly wonderful, devastatingly handsome, most level-headed, even-tempered, fiscally responsible, strategically thinking, husband to write about some of the positive aspects of being married to someone with attention deficit disorder (ADHD or ADD). Here’s what he said.
If you google “ADHD and marriage,” there is certainly no shortage of articles asking, “Can Your Relationship Survive ADHD?”, providing “50 Ways Not to Leave Your ADHD Spouse.” I know because I search the topic pretty regularly. I’ve even considered starting a local support group for husbands of women with ADHD.
Being married to my wife can be frustrating, unpredictable, and incredibly exhausting — but I wouldn’t trade even a minute of our relationship for the world. As much as her condition makes her scattered and impulsive, it also makes her the one I want to spend my life with.
I love the fact that if she wants something bad enough, she will stop at nothing — and I mean nothing — until it is hers.
I love that I never know what I’ll find when I get home from work. The living room may be painted purple, or that desk that I’ve been meaning to build is suddenly fully assembled. Or maybe she dressed all the kids up in coordinated outfits, took a professional-quality photo, had that photo blown up, and somehow managed to have it framed and hung in the foyer before I walked in the door.
I love that when the front door was open, every light on in the house, and clothes strewn everywhere, it never even crossed my mind that my wife was kidnapped and our home ransacked by invaders. She just needed to run to the store.
I love that she can’t stay angry for very long because she completely forgot that she was angry in the first place.
I love that when she has an idea, she jumps right in. So many of the best things in our life come from decisions she made on a whim — decisions that I would have never considered. Or, decisions that I would still be considering, and weighing the pros and cons of using an Excel spreadsheet.
I love that when we are out with friends who insist on paying the bill — but aren’t the best tippers — she will add a few bucks when no one is looking.
I love that she would do just about anything she could to help anyone who needed it. I am amazed and inspired by her willingness to give so much of herself, despite having four kids, a crazy dog, online courses to take, and a full time job.
I love watching her fill out documents. She starts in the middle, jumps to the top, then the bottom, back to the middle. It’s completely random, but that is just the way she operates.
I love seeing how passionately she loves our four children. She makes them each feel so special and important. They know that they can come to her with anything and she’d understand. She has made our home a place of love and comfort, and safety for them.
I love that she has allowed me on board her “crazy train” and lets me share these adventures with her, and I honestly believe I am the luckiest man alive.
This post was originally published on Hackrack. Republished with permission.
Updated on November 4, 2020