Too Much Alone Time
A mom to an ADHD child feels overwhelmed – and unsure if she’s getting the support she needs from her husband.
My husband is a wonderful man and an excellent father. He is kind and patient, and spends every moment he can with our two sons and me. But he is human. He works all day and arrives home just in time to put our older son, who has been diagnosed with ADHD, to bed.
Occasionally, during this together time, my husband loses his temper. By bedtime, our son isn’t medicated any more, and he has a hard time calming down. He gets distracted on his way upstairs to brush his teeth, and my husband gets frustrated.
I do more daily stuff for my son than I care to admit. I’m with him all the time. I get him off to school in the morning, drive him to his therapy and doctor’s appointments, feed him dinner, help him with homework – all while chasing our two-year-old son around.
My husband defers to me on treatment decisions for our son. Since I used to be a teacher, I will know the best course of action, he says. Maybe, but making decisions about my son’s medical needs is different from giving guidance to one of my students.
My husband and I are supposed to be raising our children together. He hasn’t been to one IEP meeting, and he hasn’t yet read a book about ADHD.
Sometimes I feel that I am the mommy to three boys. It makes me feel very alone.
-Kim Clary Cafiero