Guest Blogs

“You’re Not Bad at French; You’re Learning French.”

“I realize that thinking that I am bad at French is not actually helpful in learning, and passing, French. This change in attitude helped me get through the three French classes I needed to graduate with a degree in history.”

The Origin of My Strength-Based Approach

It’s the Fall of 2005 and I’m in hell. After dropping out of high school once and college twice, I am now a matriculated student at the University of Delaware. I have a 3.5 grade point average, but I am now facing my biggest academic obstacle: learning French.
French class presents two obstacles that are exasperated by my ADHD.

  1. I don’t have much intrinsic interest in learning the language, which makes studying painful.
  2. I am constantly frustrated by how hard French class is compared to my other classes. My sigh-to-answer ratio in class in non bien (not good).

In the middle of class, one in which I have long since lost the thread of a conversation, my professor calls on me to answer a question with “Monsieur Osborn?” I respond with the first phrase I learned in French, “Je ne sais pas” (I don’t know) but, on this occasion, I also add “Je suis mauavise en français” (I am bad at French). My exceedingly kind and patient professor responds by saying, “No, you are not bad at French; you are learning French.” And her words penetrate.

I realize that thinking that I am bad at French is not actually helpful in learning, and passing, French. This change in attitude helped me get through the three French classes I needed to graduate with a degree in history.

My Strength-Based Approach to Writing IEPs

Six years later, I became a special-education teacher. The IEP process I implemented for students then again challenged the way I innately thought about skill building. Instead of centering my efforts around what my students, or myself, were bad or good at, I began to think of skills in terms of strengths and needs.

[Get This Free Download: How Do I Create an IEP for My Child?]

ADHD or not, people need to develop strong self-awareness — a thoughtful understanding of their strengths and needs — to maximize their potential. Thinking yourself bad at something is not going to help you become better at it. Understanding you have a need in an area, and having a desire to improve, is a healthier way to approach challenges. And sometimes, with enough work, a need can be turned into a strength.

I came to teaching through an alternative certification program called the Philadelphia Teaching Fellows. My training in the Fellows did a great job of getting me ready for the classroom in a short period (a 5-week training institute), but I arrived in the classroom with a relatively limited knowledge of IEP (Individualized Education Program) writing. To even finish my first IEP I had to sit down with my SPED supervisor and write it with her.

I knew other teachers (even some with similarly limited experience) wrote better IEPs than I did, but I just kept pushing myself to write better ones. I implemented feedback, and over time my IEP writing became a strength rather than a need — to the point where I was tasked with helping other teachers write their IEPs. This was a process that took four years.

On the ADDitude Support Group for Adults Facebook page, people sometimes ask, “Are you bad at…?” questions, and I think that’s unhelpful. Instead, we should ask, “What are my needs?” and look to use strengths and strategies to build ourselves up rather than letting our self-esteem take unnecessary hits from our own self-talk and self-perceptions.

[Read: Your Own Worst Enemy: Silencing Negative Self Talk]

The world works to put enough limits on us; we should not put limits on ourselves. I would not be where I am today, a special education leader, if I had decided and told myself I was bad at writing IEPs. C’est vrai (It’s true)!

Strength-Based Approach for Students with ADHD: Next Steps


SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.