11 Things I Tell Myself When I Feel Hopeless

I've got vision, power, and guts. But hardly anyone sees those traits because they are overshadowed or undermined by my poor decision-making, procrastination, and feelings of utter overload. The productivity skills required for success — in business and in life — are the exact skills I lack. My executive functions are out of whack, so it's not always clear where to start, how to schedule, what needs organizing, and when all these stacks of paper need my attention. ‘Adulting' doesn't come naturally to me, but that doesn't mean I can't achieve my goals. It just takes some strong systems and solid positive affirmations to get me there.

I'm ambitious, energetic, creative, and a super-hard worker. When brainstorming or strategizing, my engines are revved up, sparks flying. But then I hit a wall. Looking at the 20 items on my calendar, I get stuck and overwhelmed. I spend hours arranging and then rearranging my tasks. My mind speeds off in so many different directions that I can't see what's right in front of me. My brain is overflowing with great ideas, but I can't choose the ones that move my business forward, and some days I feel like a fraud. On those days, I repeat this mantra that keeps me grounded and prevents an epic tailspin: "You can do what you desire. But only if you get started."

Passion and desire drive me. But somewhere on the path to completion, my motivation fades. I take off like a rocket, but after a few laps the course gets complicated and I can't figure out how to maneuver through the lanes. Suddenly, I feel as if I'm carrying a bag of bricks. How will I ever finish what I've started? The burden of negative thinking stops me in my tracks. At times like these, I need to reconnect with my original passion and reaffirm that I can achieve my finished product. "This is worth doing, and you are the one to make it happen."

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To me, every idea is magical. Each one is a seed awaiting a magnificent, creative bloom. But, of course, this is slightly off kilter. And I know that, but I don't have the decision-making skills needed to pick and prioritize the great ideas over those that are just OK. It's tough for me to find the gems that will work, and even harder to find the courage to give them life. At times like these, I have to remind myself that my ADHD brings with it outstanding intuition — I just need to trust it to guide my creative choices. "Don't waste your time second- and third-guessing yourself."

Paper and I don't get along. I try to ignore the pieces of paper in my life. I pretend they're not there. When I am forced to contend with them, I stare and wonder: What am I supposed to do with this? Should I put it away? No, if I do I'll waste 30 minutes deciding to trash, save, or file it. And then I'll probably forget where I put it. Should I use an app or scanner? Or will that just devolve into a frustrating run-in with technology? At times like these, I remind myself to trust my processing style. I know what works (and what doesn't) for me. I just need the self-confidence to stick to my systems and keep using the desktop file boxes that get the job done. "What works for everyone else is of no importance."

I've got so much to do; what am I doing on Facebook? One of my ADHD traits is avoiding whatever is difficult. Is Facebook the go-to distraction that allows me to say I'm promoting my business when in reality I'm avoiding bigger responsibilities? Or is it OK to take a break until I'm ready to dig in and do the dirty work? I admit it: I'm time blind. When I enjoy a project, it consumes me. But when a project doesn't jive with my brain wave, I procrastinate like crazy. At these times, I have to be honest with myself, acknowledge the avoidance, and remind myself of the important goals that I should be working toward. "Later today, or later this week, will you regret spending your time this way?"

This is tough for me to acknowledge: Not everything has to be perfect. Not every decision is going to be the right one, but spending hours agonizing over every decision is simply a waste of time. Too often, I wait for creative visions to arrive, and hope they will open new doors or take my hand and lead me onto the right path. But if I want to be a successful businessperson I can't sit around and wait for visions; I have to accept my choices, stop second-guessing how they will turn out, and come to see that perfection is not always worth waiting for. At these times, I have to remind myself: "Jump off the cliff; you might just grow wings on the way down."

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As much as I try to fight it, my brain instinctively ruminates; playing and replaying every decision, comment, and move I make over and over again. This can be a roadblock to my success. Ruminating makes me anxious and interferes with my productivity. When my mind gets stuck, I distract it by physically moving to another location (take my laptop to another room), getting involved in a different task, taking a walk, or meditating for five minutes. I envision a stop sign, and I say to myself: "The longer you carry this, the heavier it feels. Drop it now and you'll soar."

ADHD fools me into believing I'm super-human. I think I can do anything. But I know that no one person can master every task. A successful businessperson knows when to hire people who do what she can't. Simple, yet necessary, administrative tasks are irritating for lots of people with ADHD. David Neeleman, the founder of JetBlue explains it perfectly: "I can manage a fleet of 20 aircraft but I can't pay my light bill." It's worth the time and effort to find a system, app or online program that works for you. The key is in recognizing your ADHD, understanding your individual processing style, and working with customized programs that suit you. "Asking for help is not admitting defeat; it is demonstrating great self-awareness — and saving everyone a lot of trouble."

I jump in to situations I know nothing about and figure them out as I work through them. Sometimes, I'm so confident that it's hard for me to admit I can't do everything and accept that it's time to call for advice and support. Knowing when to delegate and allowing control to pass out of your hands — these are two big keys to success, and they're also very tough to accomplish. We possess a vision and become obstinate. We don't trust anyone else to do the job as well as we could. When I feel this way, I remind myself that trust is a requirement in all relationships, and I'm not perfect either. "If ever you'd like others to take a chance on you and give you the opportunity to stretch yourself, then you've got to extend that same opportunity to others."

ADHD can mess with your mind if you let it. It will trick you into thinking you CAN'T because there were times when you DIDN'T. A successful entrepreneur only uses the past to gain wisdom, not to wallow in doubt. Yes, you might have to check an email 5 times before you hit send, but that's not any reason to shirk away from drafting it in the first place. The inability to focus causes insecurity. Use other people's eyes — or a spellcheck program — when you cannot focus. I often remind myself, "Speed only correlates with success in NASCAR races and marathons. In real life, smart thinking is worth waiting for."

Projects don't always go as well I want them to. People don't react the way I expect them to. And on the days when I can't concentrate because my emotions are too intense, I have to know how to pause and take time to readjust myself. I know that if I'm not taking care of myself (emotionally and physically), my ADHD will try to convince me to quit. But I also know I don't have to listen to it. At these times, I tell myself: "It would be easy to see life in black and white. Success comes with finding the grey."

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