I felt scared, lost in a dark underground cave with no way out.
Any task that required repetitive effort, concentration, and consistency forced her into a shutdown. She stopped functioning, froze, and ran away. I felt there was nothing I could do to bring her back. I was limited in my perspective. I had tunnel vision. My daughter needed stability, consistency, security, and balance. At the time, I couldn't give her any of the things she needed the most.
Looking back, I think the only thing I could have done to improve those gut-wrenching years is this: Know more about myself. Know who I was as a mom, wife, and stepmom. Commit to what I valued. Know where to draw boundaries. And figure out how to manage my own ADHD.
Now that I am older, wiser, and am comfortable with myself, I can see lots of the things I wish I had done differently. Here they are.