Emotions & Shame
Return to "What My Worst Days with ADHD Feel Like"

"What My Worst Days with ADHD Feel Like"

On good days, my acting skills are worthy of an Oscar. But on bad days, my ADHD pushes me into a dark, quiet personal world that few know exists. Here are 10 circumstances in which I feel overwhelmingly lost, alone, or confused — and no one else has a clue.

11 Comments: "What My Worst Days with ADHD Feel Like"

  1. Thank you so much for writing this in-depth story about your struggles. I can relate on so many levels. I am a 57 yr old female; I’m sitting on my sofa stressing over the one million things I have to do and I just can’t GET STARTED. I’ve taken my usual 10mg of adderall and I typically take 5 or 10 more in the afternoon but sometimes it just isn’t enough. I rarely do things in advance and am only productive when under pressure. I’m extremely organized and rely heavily on lists and my iPhone notes and calendar apps because I cannot remember anything. I too have trouble verbally communicating but am proficient in the written word as that was my former occupation. It’s as if the words don’t come out fast enough to talk but if I can take my time to write them, I’m able to better articulate thoughts. I am a devout perfectionist and sometimes this is a blessing and sometimes a curse. I think this is why I can’t get started some days because if I don’t have time to accomplish something with perfection I don’t want to start. But it seems like the more time I have the less productive I am. I cannot even describe how grateful I for this website and the comments which have helped me to feel like I am not alone.

  2. I’ve been reading articles for years on this site and wish I could’ve came across this one earlier. Yesterday was such a hard day. I’m so tired of beating myself up and then other people making false judgements about me. Even though I’m extremely detail oriented and can be extremely organized, it still isn’t enough for me to be consistent in reducing stress caused by ADHD distraction. Something that seems simple ends up exhausting me because one step many times turns into 3 steps. Yesterday I felt so alone and wondered what my problem is, this article was SO SO validating and helpful. It seems that only those who have ADHD understand what it’s like and I have yet to meet anyone who accepts and believes my struggle and having to hide it from employers makes me feel even more like a fraud. I also forget my own survival skills and systems that help me feel good about myself and my day and help me be productive. This article touched on all things I experience often and again, thankful to have found it. I don’t feel as alone which helps my frustration while I’m trying and trying and getting almost nowhere or so it seems at the time. These are the articles that help us not give up or if we do give up for the day, help us realize we aren’t failures and our brains are always working whether or not others and people for example in billing departments working with us can see that. Im realizing I’m going to have to be a lot stronger and learn to not care about judgements made. I like to consider what people say but with ADHD its a whole entirely different way of living, and we live in a society that doesn’t support ADHD, the least our society can do is accept and not degrade, and that includes myself. I’ve been successful but it’s very challenging and I’m not able to sustain it during traumatic times. Sometimes my best isn’t enough and I know that and have to learn to be okay with that.

  3. This describes my life situation at the moment. I always carry guilt and shame for my past doings. Alcoholic abuse and that carries more guilt. Trying to realize my deepest true self but cannot quiet the mind. The racing thoughts drive me to many places I never really wanted to go. But it’s ironic. The wars that happens in the world doesn’t compare to the internal war inside. I want to forgive. I want to be that better person and make others happy. But the opposite is my current situation. This post brought more awareness in regards that I’m not the only one that struggles with the ADHD. Thanks again for the post and I wish you all the best. Peace

  4. Thank you for writing this. Recently I have begun to feel like my life is turning out wrong, like maybe not wrong, but just not how it should be. I am 28, and I feel like I should feel like an adult now, but I still feel adolescent. I have problems motivating myself to take care of my areas of the house in the way I should, pay attention my partner the way other people do theirs, and choosing responsibility over instant gratification.During social situations everything can be going alright, but I find myself all of a sudden pausing when trying to think of what or how to respond, I just end up saying um, over and over again, and I feel like there are holes in my memory or brain. It ends up taking me multiple minutes to respond or I just walk away frustrated. I find myself only being able to do the bare minimum at work, which I thoroughly love and enjoy, because I end up just staring at the ceiling or doing something like being on this site right now.
    To be honest I don’t know and wont try to self diagnose, but this article has given me someplace to start figuring things out. I’m 10 for 10 in very similar fashion to what you have there, which is going to help me get closer to whats going on with me. Thank you so much again!

  5. Thanks for writing this article. I can identify with just about all these symptoms. I’ve been diagnosed for about 15 years so I’ve been able to develop some coping strategies. The biggest issue I have is explaining my ideas to others. I am a lawyer in practice for about 20 years. I’m an excellent strategist and legal writer but my problem is not being able to orally communicate my thoughts to other team members in the moment. That’s the main reason I am not a courtroom lawyer either. If I go back to my office and write a memo or email it’s all good. But a lot of times things come up in the moment and people want my input but they have a hard time following what I’m saying. And with 4 thoughts in my head that come out of my filter-free mouth I tend to digress. It is very frustrating for me and others as they wait for me to get to my point. I wish I could find a way to address it so the job I love would be easier. Thanks for listening!

  6. I believe that probably every week someone comments on some article from here saying how grateful he/she is feeling etc and yeah, well, I’ll be one of them btw WOW whaaat it’s amazing how I can relate so much in this article haha srsly every paragraph I read I kept repeating to myself “truuuue” or “damn, yeah” or “SAME”.

    I’m feeling so grateful for this site haha ok ok LISTEN, in my country, Brazil, which 5% of the population kinda knows how to speak English but only 1% is fluent in the language, there is no in-depth information on what ADHD is, how it affects and manifests in your daily life, in your personality and in your life in general, when I say “there is no in-depth information” I REALLY mean it.

    It is something much more than neglect. Besides inconvenient people who say, “It’s all in your head, it’s just you focus and then u can do it.” There is also my own neurologist, for example, not understanding why she needs to prescribe my medications even when I’m on vacation, because what she learned in college about ADHD is not even half of what really is, and if she wanted to learn about it she would have to go to college in another country, that is, even in the colleges to become neurologist etc ADHD is “ignored” and then many times people who don’t have ADD or ADHD are diagnosed with, becoming ridiculous easy and banal a certificate of attention deficit disorder. Besides my parents not taking my ADD seriously, there’s also if u go search about it in the Brazilian Google 80% of the news and articles that appear are “Attention Deficit does not exist and here’s the evidence” not to mention the totally generic symptoms, the Attention Deficit in adults option doesn’t exist, as if it were something unique for the children, that is, it would not matter even if the parents of the person would like to know or not on the subject, because it would give the same. Besides difficulties I had at school because of my ADD, there was also one of the groups of people who bullied me they didn’t know(me either, I thought it was simply my exotic personality) that they were actually doing bullying about my symptoms, u know? ugh, frustrating as hell.

    So, thank you thank you thank you, your article made me feel relieved and YOU ARE AMAZING.

    P.S: hyperfocus mood cuz I just noticed that I been writing this comment for 4 hours wtf

  7. June, thank you so much!

    I have to admit that this article made me cry. I never realized that when I have my bad days, they were bad ADHD days. I always thought it was my anxiety playing up. It’s not only like this, only a handful of days in a month, but it threw me off. “Why am I so cranky? What’s wrong with me? Nothing truly bad is happening…” I would constantly say to myself, but I could never get to the root of my problem. Your article made me realize that I’m not alone on days like these like I had originally thought I was. Thank you again!

    1. I also cried at this. I’ve never really understood ADHD, and even though I have it, I thought of it as the stereotype of the child who just can’t sit still. I had no idea it could also encompass the adult college student who’s screaming at her computer because she just can’t write her essay today. It’s good to see that all my issues seem to relate back to ADHD, but it’s also a bit sad because I know thay there’s no true cure for it. Still, I’m glad for this article because I can show it to my loved ones to try and explain my situation.

      1. Wow! I scream at my computer too! I get so overwhelmed when I hit the wrong key or page up/down, delete, etc. by accident and the cursor flies everywhere. Or when I sit down to work and the computer starts updating so the motivation I had to get started is gone, replaced by frustration and a decision about what to do next. At one of my jobs, my co-workers thought I was strange for getting annoyed to the point of yelling at what they were able to see as a minor annoyance. They would roll their eyes if they were in my office and otherwise they were joking about of my love/hate relationship with the computer. It was embarrassing but there was no way I could explain it. I just made a joke of it too and blamed it on “all the new technology” even though I am very skilled in that area.

  8. June, thanks for writing this! Sometimes I feel exactly the same way in regard to worrying thoughts that seem like they spiral into a vast negative space and leave me feeling desperate and anxious. It’s so good to know that’s not a unique feeling!

Leave a Reply