ADHD and the Epidemic of Shame
"For many people with ADHD, shame arises from the repeated failure to meet expectations from parents, teachers, friends, bosses, and the world." Here, Dr. William Dodson explains how to shed that emotional burden. Hint – don’t be afraid to ask for help.
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3 Comments: ADHD and the Epidemic of Shame
I have read in many other places online that experts estimate children receive 20000 more negative messages about themselves than their peers by the age of 12. This article says children receive 20000 more negative message than positive about themselves by the age of 10. Is this a case of information “evolving” as it’s passed through the internet or are these two separate facts? Curious to know if maybe both of these things are true??
I was diagnosed with ADD two years ago in my late 60s, a ‘bonus” to go along with my Bipolar Type 2. This revelation was enlightening but not liberating. Here’s an analogous example: Suppose that you just bought a $60,000 car and you discover that it has two engineering/design defects. The manufacturer refuses to fix it under warranty and the dealer refuses to take it back. You’re stuck with it and won’t be able to get rid of it.
Re: Item #9. There is nothing laughable about ADD/ADHD. It’s been a disaster for me. This $#!+ has caused me to get fired from at least one job and has caused me to lose face in too many social situations to count. I cannot think of even one example where it has been a benefit.
Re: Item #13. Uncover the truth. Yeah, you need to know about the design defects in yourself but announcing it to the public is a disaster and an act of inspired stupidity. In the workaday world that will send your HR director scurrying to the internet. He will discover the 15 or so symptoms and assume that you check ALL the boxes. You will be added to his secret list of layoff candidates and you will never learn the truth when they fire your ass. Many of my peers think that I am a somewhat eccentric nerd but revealing an embarrassing label will confirm that there is indeed something wrong with me and it would destroy my reputation.
So I will try to recognize the symptoms of it and hopefully hold my tongue before I say something stupid. I will continue to see my psych professional, take my med and look to ADDitude for its valuable advice. These things plus my personal perseverance are the ways I will face the future but I will never publicly admit to it even if I’m waterboarded.
I do not normally blog however this resonated so strongly with me. I was diagnosed at 42 a couple of years ago. I have been slowly rediscovering myself since. I am not sure if I read this when I was younger I would have responded as well but now at this stage of my path I completely recognise this pattern in my life. It helps to understand where I have come from and to know there are things I can learn to help improve my opinion of myself which will then have other flow on affects in my life. Thank you.