"Why I Stopped Taking My Pills"

My ADHD traits and tendencies are a fundamental part of me, not something I'd like to erase anymore than I would the freckles on my shoulders or my angular nose.

Spes20

October 18, 2020 at 10:23 pm

I’ve always believed, as the author does, that my ADD is a cognitive style and personality type. When I was first diagnosed in my early-30s, the psychologist offered me medication. I balked: “I don’t want to alter my personality!” I also share the author’s concern that medication might curb my creativity. (I’m also an artist, but I’ve been a college professor, an editor, a web developer…)

The view at middle age is different. At 43, I have a struggling creative business, mountains of debt, no assets, no health insurance, and a few hundred dollars in my bank account. I’ve watched my colleagues, with less creative ideas, soar out ahead of me and have wondered in frustration, “how do they do it?!” My husband keeps our world from falling down around us, at considerable cost to himself.

I’ve decided it doesn’t matter whether my ADD is a cognitive/personality style or an organic disorder. I’ve lost enough of my life, potential, and the good will of my loved ones to it. No longer do I expect society to change to meet me where I am; I need to adapt to it. I’m still working with a therapist, but I go to the doctor tomorrow for the meds.