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How to Demobilize a Bully in 5 Steps

Children and teens with ADHD are often targeted by bullies who notice their impulsivity, clumsiness, or awkward social skills. Here, teach your child how to deal with a bully and become an upstander for other neurodivergent kids.

2 Comments: How to Demobilize a Bully in 5 Steps

  1. I, generally, find Dr. Saline’s articles insightful. While these tips, might be helpful, this article seems to put the entire responsibility of the “neurodivergent” target of bullying to defend themselves. Is the author saying that bullying is “normal”, acceptable, and not neurodivergent? It is acceptable to seek out, and suss out, other kids’ vulnerabilities and then ridicule them.

    In my child’s experience, who was relentlessly targeted by bullies since an early age, it was the bullies who in high school were eventually prescribed on adhd meds, such as adderall.

    Bullying and ridicule are not okay. They are the problem. In my opinion, most bullies come to school with bigoted views from their parents and questionable social media. That is not okay. Most bullies are usually working through their own personal conflicts by bullying and aggression toward other kids. That is not okay. That should not be labelled as normal, and then leave it up to the “neurodivergent” targeted kids and their parents to be constant advocates for their rights to peaceful co-existence.

  2. ADDitude – How to Bully-Proof Your Kid REPLY – August 14, 2022

    This is one man’s opinion, so take it FWIW. I am a man in his pre-geezer years and I still have bitter flashbacks from over 50 years ago, from Grades 5-10. I hate bullies; bullies rob people of their dignity.

    I was the class nerd. So, should anyone expect help from, say, the football squad? Get real! These guys were the worst bullies of them all.

    This article is too superficial. IMHO, and fails to note the critical differences between female and male bullies. Women just do not understand a boy’s world. Yes, there are girl bullies but their modus operandi is usually the emotional and verbal kind. Male bullies take the level of aggression way higher than this and can be physically abusive, even brutal. I have seen victims who had to go to the emergency room to receive stitches, have their noses reset and teeth removed.

    If you are a boy and victimized by bullies, I bleed for you because I have BTDT. I write this out of heartfelt sympathy for you, so please read on. First of all, you can’t just try to appear to be stoic and pretend to shrug it off. This will only make things worse. For me it got so bad that even younger kids started picking on me. As much as you try to avoid it, you will eventually end up in a fisticuff battle with these kids. Some lessons I leaned from life:

    1. Avoid contact with the 7 ft, 300 lb gorillas. These sadistic tormentors can permanently injure you.
    2. Take boxing/self defense lessons. You will learn some schoolyard combat tactics and how to steel your nerves under extreme duress.
    3. Make a mental list of the smaller and younger bullies. These will be your retaliatory strike candidates.

    When one of these smaller aspiring sadists commits an act of war, e.g., spits in your face, shoves you or even hurls an insult, use the element of surprise as much as possible, summon all of your strength and punch him in the nose … HARD. If he cries or surrenders, you will have won the battle! But be prepared for a counterattack. Most of these fights where both fighters are fully aware end up in a draw but you still will have made a vital point: you are no longer going to accept being someone else’s venting target. Believe me, this message will instantly resonate through the whole school.

    In one incident in my personal experience when I was in the 6th Grade an 8th Grade bully grabbed me from behind in a choke hold and tried to dunk my head into an unflushed toilet bowl full of excrement in the boy’s restroom. What to do? Squirm, SQUIRM HARD! I did and bit his arm and he released his grip. Germ warfare is a violation of the Geneva Convention!

    In another incident a few years later, a smaller would-be tyrant grabbed the pencils out of my pocket and taunted me. I immediately punched the little bastard in the nose. He bled all over his shirt, threw down my pencils and ran off to the school nurse. Even the bigger bullies do not want to provoke a target that fights back. I never again suffered such aggression and had a peaceful last 3 years of high school.

    I wish you well, young man. Hang in there and GBU.

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