Silence Your Harshest Critic — Yourself

5 Comments: Silence Your Harshest Critic — Yourself

1. Wow, this is so me. This site and articles help me so much to understand what’s going on with me – at the age of 65!

2. Wow, this is so what I needed to hear right now. Finally an article on how to deal with what’s behind the perfectionism. So insightful. Thank you!

3. I’m new here and I just read about the prefrontal cortex thing. I think i never heard of that before. Since i also have OCD i will obsess about stuff like that. See you are dumb, you dont reason properly, etc, etc. I guess its that toxic shame that I received all my life getting to me.

4. You wrote “Instead of demanding perfection, teach yourself to value daily accomplishments, no matter how small”.
   What do you do when you’ve done that and then your spouse comes along and tells you all the ways you have messed up that day?

   1. I have this conversation with my wife. If ive done 9 out of the 10 things that she wanted me to do then why is she criticising me for not doing the 10th.
      The answer after my ADD diagnosis and the fallout from it, was simple. It turned out that the list that she had was different from the list that I had, I had a list of things I wanted to do for her, the house, the kids – she generally had only one or two things that I needed to do for her. Communication as always is the lesson.
      Now I try and find out what are the two things that she needs/wants me to get done, everything else becomes a surprise or bonus for her. Trick is to make sure you focus on getting those two things done first, and not faking their stature by letting the things that are important to you take over – that’s when they get forgotten or just plain ‘I was busy and ran out of time doing all this other stuff’.