[Self-Test] Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) in Adults

3 Comments: [Self-Test] Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) in Adults

1. If you’re here for help with an adult and frustrated or confused by this article don’t worry. It is ridiculously off target. The authors of the quiz equate being a bar fighting, popcorn eating and sock tosser with ODD. Those things have nothing to do with ODD. The author, who is unidentifiable, has personal problems with socks and popcorn that are bleeding through into their writing.

   This article makes me genuinely question the intelligence and education of this PhD reviewer Roberto Olivardia.

   I’m in a relationship with an ODD adult. Here’s what it’s like. I can’t get a straight answer about the simplest things because they can tell it frustrates me and there is value in that emotion. I know there will never be improvement because there is not anything wrong from their perspective; I, like the rest of the non-them world, am just against them for irrational reasons. My partner can’t keep a job because everyone at work is an idiot and there’s always a point they rage quit. They chain smoke cigarette’s because no-one can tell them to quit. They are against all government but expect all government benefits for free. People who participate in the democratic process are sheep. When hospitalized for a life threatening infection, the bill is not going to be paid because basic health care is a right. We cannot decide on a meal because I cannot get an answer and if I suggest something then it’s doesn’t sound good at the moment. We can’t make plans to go somewhere because they might not feel like it when the time comes and keeping me in limbo is the good part for them. They must drive everywhere unless I indicate that I expect them to drive. Then we can’t go at all. We can’t take my car because my car seats are uncomfortable, but when I get a new car there is a different excuse. They can’t handle traffic at all and are constantly angry and having outbursts. When I decide to go to do something on my own there is grief at being left out; “why me?”. They can’t do yard work, dishes, or laundry as requested by roommates because they “can’t do it right and keep getting in trouble”. It’s easiest for the housemates to do their laundry and cook food for them and leave it in their room which limits conflict. If i initiate sex then I am “always horny” but if I don’t initiate sex then they make weird cross wise hints until I suggest something, then again there is something wrong with me. They make racist jokes occasionally until I pointed out that racist jokes are not funny and then, although not racist, made them constantly, only quitting when they realized they were acting exactly like someone they personally found repugnant. They made teasing comments about disabled children, knowing that I had previously had a disabled child who died, until one day I had a panic attack and then just ignored what was happening until I passed out. As the power dynamic between us changes our interactions are also changing. They wouldn’t tell me if they were coming over or not, or wanted to make plans or not so I made plans to do something else. They showed up just as I was leaving and then had to spend five hours sitting at my house while I had fun with other friends. I wont introduce them to my other friends because they their enjoyment of aggravating other people is such that they can’t be trusted.I’ve told them that, and now all my other friends are cry babies or assholes. I spend hours taking care of them after they became sick and had to be taken to the ER but I was intruding on them when I wanted support after I went in for cancer diagnostic testing. Today it feels like cancer without them would be preferential than health with them. That’s damming.

   How is this person different than a controlling person? A controlling person is happy when they get what they want and unhappy when they don’t. If you are OK with being controlled you can be happy with a controlling person. An ODD person is happy when you are not getting what you want, regardless of if it’s what they want or not. Neither of you can be happy as their happiness is contingent on your frustration.

   If this sounds familiar, I’m sorry. If you’re shopping for a fixer-upper that can’t be fixed I know where you can find a beauty cheap.

2. Well, this seems to be for people that have a job. I’ve been retired for many years, so most of the questions really don’t apply to me. How about another quiz for people like me?

   1. LABELS sell clothing, they should NEVER define a person. I will gladly claim A-Z and any/all combinations in between to help others understand what it is like from another view. Human kindness comes from within.