Q: How Can We Teach Our Emotional, Anxious Tween to Calm Herself?

Could the loss of a loved one spark emotional outbursts and runaway anxiety attacks in a tween with ADHD? Here, our Dear Teen Parenting Coach explains how puberty can exacerbate poor emotional regulation, and how parents can help children struggling with scary and overpowering feelings.

1Christine

November 22, 2018 at 11:29 am

I gave myself panic attacks from high school until age 50! One day I had time alone and noticed that I was holding my breath. I remembered a Meditation and Prayer class from high school, that was a positive experience. The simple steps , relax your body from head to toe, one part at a time. Next step, take a deep breath and focus on your belly rise and fall. There were more directions that followed, but I just did those. My heart beat slowed and I enjoyed the sensation and was amazed at my ability to slow my own respiration. It was empowering to own my heart. Palpitations and fear that overcame me during panic attacks no longer controlled life, seeping through my dreams and waking me in perceived danger. I had to prove to myself, practicing breathing in, watching belly rise with my palm placed above my belly button. With ownership comes responsibility, I encourage you to do this with your family during technology shut down time. A diagnosis of ADHD and anxiety can produce low self-esteem as peers fly through milestones and social situations. Now you can have control over something that is only yours. When I concentrate on the rhythm and motion of my chest and pull in air around me, I give my heart a little love. The beats are no longer the enemy and I feel calmer. Is this the start towards “emotional regulation?”