“From Screw-Up to Awesome in Nine Steps ”

3 Comments: “From Screw-Up to Awesome in Nine Steps ”

1. ya this one upset me too . I think it was the whole “use a planner” “plan you meals for the week” and “clean and organize your counter thing ….thats the problem ….if i could do it, i wouldnt have an issue . My advice, watch the ted talk with that red head chick. She made me feel better. No offense to the author of this article but ….you can organize , plan , have a husband , kids, and 2 careers. Just not someone i personally relate with but thats not saying there arent others here who do. I wonder how they choose the articles here though, sometimes i feel its more about quantity than quality. I mean some articles are downright insulting at times. Gotta ignore those and just go to the ones that can help/relate to you.
   Good luck. You arent alone. I promise.

2. I find funny enough that a lot of the well meant articles here upset me. I find they just tie in to painful areas I have from a life long problem of ADHD. Such as setting goals and knowing what I want. Impossible I have never known and I run out of steam quickly as ADHD does to me. Even causes depression in mW.

3. Thank you for reminding me of the things that worked so well in my working life . At the beginning of the second half of a previous century i was fortunate to spend 5 years at a very young age in the Military and then Ten years working for a somewhat enlightened (for males only) employer who ran seminars for staff on many of the tools you have recommended . This combination worked extremely well and served my pecadillos and quantum leaps of logic i called them until my department director decided all of us would do our own filing.
   About a week later i began a job hunt. Recognizing my weaknesses and actively pursuing solutions was ingrained by then even though that was near 50 years before my first ADHD diagnosis. Receiving and accepting a generous offer to move to Spokane I was totally shaken when we found out my daughter was going to undergo a series of surgeries that would result in her spending 52 days in hospital. Meanwhile my employer of 5 years was offering me an alternative job w/0 filing and a substantial raise. For those of you not familiar with this behavior by an employer, that was typical of that era. It is the dream of many my age IMO of returning to that era, that has so many being seduced by political promises of same. (Where was i )
   Staying in a city that had tremendous family and friend support, that now had free medicare and Hospital insurance was a no brainer. I would suddenly leave the cocooned technical world for one which held many appointments and social interaction with others I thought I was well equipped to handle NOPE but
   I was introduced to the use of assistants who for the rest of my career filled in at these essential roles in my life. My reliance on them was essential as Consultant and later VP of a large employer. Ultimately founding my own consulting firm I was rarely without 20 to 30 clients who seldom fired you much less all at one time. Suddenly, Retirement 13 years ago because the inevitable problems of LFT low frustration tolerance had outlived my military gift of self discipline. I was blowing up often at suppliers of my clients. Retired at 60 to a world that was for the most part absent of assistants….2 ex wives, still unaware of my ADHD despite having had a son with it.
   Naively diving into it with another new wife, Retirement was a nightmare until the smart phone era a few years later ushered in a solution I use to distraction.
   My schedules and reminders that i could never maintain in a planner were suddenly having no trouble finding their way into my Ipad and Kindle Fire and Macbook. I had never been patient and disciplined enough to maintain a planner but this was addictive.

   Recognizing our issues and believing in oneself To solve them with effort, does work. Luck and we all have a little does help.
   In summary
   Problem: Expelled from high school for failure to do “home” work despite top class exam and test work. Baiting teachers with comments every time they made a mistake probably didnt help but it was my RSD response. Unable to get decent pay w/o better education though I Had a decent job with a large employer.
   Solution 9 months later Join Military where special education programs solved it. And the issue of LFT. And a dose of self confidence.
   Problem work rule changes that required new skills that were out of my Zone. Solution New Job with new circumstances that filled for my greatest weaknesses timeliness and detail.
   There were many other problems along the way but recognizing, planning to solve and acting on solutions even if it takes several repeats worked often enough. On things that we are not aware of that nevertheless are problems to others, accept that we may be somewhat self assessment color blind and try some solutions.
   Problem I quit smoking every Sunday night.. for years. Results that went past a day or two…..2 weeks, then 3 months, then 2years, next 5 years, next 10 years and finally permanently 35 years ago. Failure is just Limited success. …learned from it and used it for the next attempt on Sunday.
   Problem LFT and RSD took 10 years and a major depression but the SNRI that treated that ,and a lot of research by me and an ADHD Diagnosis (age 70) and treatment both drugs and choral singing, has brought light at the end of the tunnel.
   At 73 I am still working on the Exercise dilemma that many of us have at this age ….without much success but I will keep trying .
   Problem Timliness and organization. Solution Smart phone/ Ipad.
   And as to life, I have never enjoyed it more nor have i ever had more true friends and the loving gift that 3 children , 7 grandchildren (one ADHD) and one Great granddaughter brings. Balancing that against the loss due to death of 3 sisters and one brother, additionally A debilitating stroke of one brother and the loss to dementia of one sister. Very little can replace the loss of a large loving family and though we no longer number over 150 my siblings children, and I the youngest, make for some excellent gatherings around the continent.