My ADHD Mind Doesn't Wander, It Plots

1 Comment: My ADHD Mind Doesn't Wander, It Plots

1. On the 19th of Jan 2018 my Dr is curious to my request to treat me for ADHD. I had told him during my, past years, attempts at altering/manage my depression, by self medicating, I had tried an Adderall , and it’s affects were clarity, could focus on one thing at a time! I could follow through with out losing train of thought! No decent into that, “annoying”, scribbled cloud of events & words that would invade my brain. It was a handicap, for sure! However, I always thought I made a very good first impression BUT, I was so fearful of others finding out my secret, I’m really dumb! It was exhausting! School then new jobs were kind of terrifying.
   2/13/18 I text this to my daughter:
   So, hey. I want you to know that while I have “woken up” I’m realizing why I kept numbing myself. It was getting too hard to deal w/what hurts my heart. Things from the past that I never, really worked through are showing up again. My goal is to deal with that stuff in a more constructive way. So while I’ve been feeling so much better, I must continue my therapy. I’d rather feel these things & work through them in a constructive way. I don’t want to go back into that horrible, dark place ever again. I am still shocked as to how much I had given up. So grateful to be where I am, now. It is a work in progress and I’m so glad to, finally, have a chance to live life instead of letting life happen to me!
   It’s about damn time!😂👍💕