Bullying Trauma & the Healing Power of the Brain

1 Comment: Bullying Trauma & the Healing Power of the Brain

1. This presentation lit a xenon bulb in me. I am a man in his retirement stages and I still have searing memories of bullying during my 5th thru 10th Grade years. My narrative is directed to male bully victims in their elementary thru high school years. So, listen up, guys; I am on your side and I know what I’m talking about.

   The speaker is sincere and has good intentions but there is a major omission: the behavior of male bullies goes well beyond the level of abuse committed by female bullies. I suffered being slapped, slugged, shoved, spat on, kicked and grabbed in a choke hold in my adolescent years. Women may be excused for being oblivious to this because they never experience(d) it.

   Forget the bullies. My sympathies are with you hapless victims. This presentation correctly shows that bullies have their own psychological problems. Help is available to them too but they never seek it. And it is not your responsibility to counsel their alcoholic and drug abusing parents.

   Forget the school administration. My high school principal’s principle preoccupations were finding teachers who were willing to work for low salaries and finding a new athletic coach who could reverse the school’s football losing streak. He had no patience with nerd victims who could not defend themselves. It was “just a part of growing up”.

   Furthermore, telling the teacher will backfire. It will confirm to the bully team that you are too weak and timid to defend yourself. This will actually make things worse; even the younger bullies will join in on the fun and gain bragging rights from beating up an upper classman.

   Despite your best efforts to avoid a fight, a fight is eventually going to find you. And you need to be prepared. When you are being slammed against a wall, there is no possibility of negotiating any sort of peace treaty with your attacker.

   My specific recommendations:

   1. Avoid the 7 ft tall, 250 lb. gorillas. They can maim and mangle you and take sadistic delight in it. If you find yourself in a dangerous choke hold, BREAK HIS GRIP! Squirm, squirm HARD and bite his arm if you have to!
   2. Find and enroll in a self defense class. Check the local YMCA, the judo and taekwondo academies.
   3. When a smaller bully commits an act of war, punch him HARD in the face. In my sophomore year in HS, a little 9th Grade bully grabbed the pencils out of my pocket and dared me to take them back. I hit him and broke his nose. I served up notice that I would no longer tolerate being the community punching bag. The International Brotherhood of Bullies took the hint and I had a peaceful existence up thru graduation.

   Getting an education, maintaining a good grade point score and earning a diploma is hard enough in itself. Bullying only makes it harder and you don’t deserve it.

   Hang in there, young man and GBU. I wish you well and hope that your brain recovers from these hellish experiences.