“I Could Have Been Myself for So Much Longer.”
“Shame caused me to write off my symptoms for many years. The realities of being a Black woman also held back my diagnosis, as did grappling with strongly ingrained attitudes about medication and mental health. While I can still be tough on myself, my diagnosis has ultimately led me down a path of liberation and self-acceptance.”
6 Comments: “I Could Have Been Myself for So Much Longer.”
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Medicine kind of works for me…. When I remember to take it that is. I have a horrible memory, it can get in the way sometimes. And yes, I’ve tried reminders, but then I forgot to put reminders, and I tried using my devices for reminders, but I have started just turning them off, because they distract me when I’m working… uuuuggg
Welcome to ADHD, it’s great.
I am filled with sadness about my inability to understand and take responsibility for coping with my neurodivergent ways. I’m 61 and though I thought I might have ADD several times in my life, this publication, its screenings and some other reading about ADD leave no doubt. So life goes on. One question: I didn’t do too well with Adderal. I’m going to try a different medicine. The thing I can’t seem to tolerate is the dry mouth.
Wonderful quote from you noted by Tanuki. I was diagnosed at 47 and noted I had some anger and regret about what could have been. My wife reminded me of what I have accomplished anyways.
P.S. I put your quote “You can either get stuck on what you could have been, or you can focus on how much you’ve accomplished in spite of it all” on my wallpaper because it’s an amazing reminder.
I can relate to this article so much. I’ve also been the social butterfly when I was a kid and I could compensate for my ADHD struggles in school until I had to live on my own during my university studies. That’s when the work got so complex that my coping- and compensation methods started to fall short. But only 4 years after that first moment did I realise that my issues could best be understood in the perspective of ADHD. So, I had to embrace ADHD as a real part of me.
I still struggle to differentiate between what is me and what is my ADHD, but I’m actively working on accepting myself as I am, and embracing the good and the bad that comes with ADHD. It’s especially difficult to make people understand that my issues are very real because I’m a rather high-functioning person. But I might send this article to some of my friends as it illustrates my struggles so well.
Thank you for sharing your story.
I can relate to so many of the things you’ve written here. Thank you for finding the words to describe this experience. Your son is so lucky to have you!