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Dear ADDitude: Must Our Daughter Reveal Her ADHD?

"Our daughter absolutely doesn’t want the school to know about her ADHD as she fears that her peers will find out. Ultimately, we will do what we think is best for her, but we’d like to get her on board with our decision. How can we convince her that it is in her best interest to tell the school?"

1 Comment: Dear ADDitude: Must Our Daughter Reveal Her ADHD?

  1. This is one man’s opinion so take it FWIW. Here’s a reality check for those possessed of a pollyanna-like naivete. For once the kid is right. She has more common sense than her parents. Once you reveal a secret to even one person, it’s no longer a secret.

    This is my story. When I was in high school several decades ago, there was no such term as ADD/ADHD. I was diagnosed with a learning disability since I had to read and re-read paragraphs before the info can sink in. The psychologist sent the report to the school. My mother was the local PTA president and she somehow pissed off the popular football coach. That mother****er weaponized this info and the whole football squad bullied me for the rest of my HS term.

    Revealing this shameful, embarrassing ADD handicap in the adult workplace will sign the death warrant on your career. Being tagged with this label will send your HR director scurrying to the internet and he will assume the worst: that you check all of the symptom boxes, that you are an alcoholic, a closet drug user and that you have an uncontrollable propensity to blurt out something stupid in a customer-facing meeting. You will end up on a secret layoff list and not know why.

    If you need help, get help but never reveal that you have a label of ADD/ADHD. I’ve had a successful 42 year career as an engineer but I did not get there by being stupid.

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