"A 504 Plan for Romantic Relationships"
My girlfriend was late, disorganized, and spacey. I was angry, frustrated, and felt like a victim. It wasn’t until many years later, when I understood all about dating someone with ADHD, that I forgave her and wished I had acted a lot differently.
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June 13, 2017
Dear Sir,
If you are not married, and you still live in the same community where you met this fine lady perhaps you might wish to make a discrete inquiry to find out whether or not your former girlfriend is single. If she is, perhaps you might wish to show her a copy of your apology and then ask her out because it seems to me that you still have very strong feelings for her.
Jenny will be very super sensitive to any criticism of her from you in the future! She will “always” punish herself twice as much you do because she knows the “true cost” of anything she does that a non-ADHD person wouldn’t do. Please understand that you must “accept” Jenny as she is in the truest sense of the word and simply just love her.
I pray that you have an opportunity to date Jenny again and wish both of you the very best in the years to come.
NB: My username is what my classmates called me in elementary/middle school. It still bothers me to this day the very heavy price I paid then and continue to do today for not being diagnosed and treated earlier in my life.
*Perhaps your success with Jenny will give hope to your “ADHD” students because the divorce rate among couples with one or both suffering from ADHD is extremely high probably because the couples did not obtain counseling at the outset to better understand how to love one another despite one or both having an “invisible” disability. I recommend that if you decide to connect again with Jenny that the two of you read the articles on this website on a regular basis and learn from the experiences of other ADHD couples that have come before you.
https://www.additudemag.com/adhd-divorce-rate-marriage-help/