"Another Year Older and Losing Hope"

1 Comment: "Another Year Older and Losing Hope"

1. I wish that I could help you. I understand some of the feelings. I don’t have the travel bug (although I’ve always wanted to but my anxiety keeps me from taking the plunge) but I am 33 and getting older. I feel like I’m not dating anyone right now and I’m not sure when I will be ready to date since I have so many problems to work through. But for a woman who is my age I’m thinking of my internal clock and if I will be able to do the things that I’ve always wanted to do like own my own home, get married and start a family. I feel like the clock is ticking down and I’m losing my last chances to grasp any happiness for a a future with a long term partner. I could settle for a few who are wrong for me but I refuse to hurt them and myself in that way since I already went through that in my long term relationship. Right now I’m focusing on myself and doing things that make me happy. I can’t solve your problem of finding a long term partner and settling down but, if you’re unhappy doing what you’re doing why not do something else? Maybe something that is more stable as far as being in one place. The truth is, you don’t have to live up to the expectations of others (as hard as that is especially when it’s family) and in fact, doing that can make you miserable. I say, take a chance to try something different if you can and if that doesn’t work out, do something else later. I know it’s easier to say but harder to do when we might feel the pressure to have something secure for the future and financial stability but I’ve been reading the stories of other people with ADHD recently and it seems that we are happiest when we are true to ourselves and forging our own path through life rather than following the roads most people travel by. Also, if you feel that there may be some truth to what your dad and others are saying about your personality, maybe devote some time to working on smoothing out your edges a bit. Or, just accept yourself as you are. No one really knows the right answer for us, we have to discover it for ourselves. It can be scary and confusing when there are several right answers but the simplest advice is that if you aren’t happy doing what you’re doing find something else. We ADHDers, despite our sensitivity, are surprisingly resilient. I’m sure that you’ll find yourself back where you feel happy before long. Don’t let that anxiety get the best of you, give it a healthy does of truth if needed.