Why Can't I Stop Nagging My Husband?
“Some weeks are worse than others, and some days I come home and am amazed to find grocery bags containing the things I asked for. Some weeks I have to say the same things over and over, so it’s easy to forget that I am not a nag. I am the wife of a wonderful man with ADHD, trying to make our lives work the best I can.”
2 Comments: Why Can't I Stop Nagging My Husband?
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To me, it doesn’t look like you are nagging (harassing someone to do something). It looks like you are reminding your adult partner about his/her obligations, and since those obligations are consistently not met, reminders are necessary. Nagging has a negative connotation, and what you are doing is trying to keep your household functional. Not saying your ADHD partner has it easy, but it’s not like you wanted or signed up to be a perpetual reminder system.
I hate it when people tell me details like this and expect me to remember them. How hard is it to send me a calendar invite? It would take you, what, 30 seconds? Then it’s on my calendar, with all the details I need, right where I need it. Everyone’s happy. Instead people insist on telling me things when I’m in no position to record them (just as I’m walking out the door is my favourite) and then somehow it’s my fault that I don’t remember? It’s not like using a calendar is some weird ADHD thing. I’m happy to accept that my ADHD makes me screw up sometimes, but if something’s important and you only tell me in passing it’s not me that’s the problem.