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"You Are Wonderful!" How Praise Triggers Better Control in the ADHD Brain

My daughter was starting to hate herself because all day long she was told — by me, her teachers, her friends — that she was constantly messing up. Doing it wrong. Misbehaving. Here are the five ways we used humor and praise to save my daughter. And me.

5 Comments: "You Are Wonderful!" How Praise Triggers Better Control in the ADHD Brain

  2. Thank you for your very practical ideas. This is just what I needed and I think this approach will be good for me and most importantly, my son.

  3. So I can see how that might work but my childs issue is his behavior typically is associated with stealing and destruction of others property. Now if it’s my stuff I can possibly overlook it in the fashion you’ve describe but I’ve tried that method and it turns my house into a nightmare for my other children. I’ve seen them in tears over the stuff my ADHD child has destroyed, lied about and generally made that other child feel less than worthwhile. This method might build one child up it leave the other one to be torn down? I guess I’m doing something wrong somewhere how do I protect my other children?

  4. Just not sure about the ‘Kevin’ point. Isn’t this a way of giving them someone to blame for their negative behaviors? And, also a way to strengthen the possibility of character splits? or, am I just watching too many movies? 🙂

    1. Hi, Yes, giving them something else to blame is exactly the point! Since their “negative behaviors” are outside their control, and due to a lack of dopamine to their prefrontal cortex, then rather than have the child identify with the bad behavior and internalize that they, too, must be bad – it externalizes it. The behavior was undesirable, not the child. It is a much gentler way of approaching mindfulness and change and lets the child do so without feeling such shame. Also, yeah, probably too many movies! Don’t think splitting will be an issue!

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