Stop the Cycle of Shame for Girls with ADHD
The stigma of unrecognized ADHD can lead to years of low self-confidence and psychological damage. Here's why ADHD is so frequently missed or misdiagnosed in girls and women, and how we can help the next generation.
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8 Comments: Stop the Cycle of Shame for Girls with ADHD
Disasters should read as dosages!
I’m concerned about my daughter. She’s been identified as highly gifted but also diagnosed with ADHD, 5th percentile for processing speed, qualifies for social help through school through speech/language at school. She socially has a hard time at school but has theater and Girl Scouts. She also has said things like she sometimes wishes she was dead.
We’ve tried all kinds of medications and disasters and she does talk therapy and she is just not getting her stuff done. In three weeks, she has not completed 7/14 English assignments. Her teachers say she’s just not doing anything in class. It’s been like this for years and I don’t know what to do. Do I have a neuropsychological assessment done? I need a next step.
I am a subscriber, and I am logged in, and I want to save this article to my “saved articles”, but there is no link marked “save”, so I can’t save it. I managed to save one article once, but apparently I can never do it again. Where is the “save” button? Have you taken them off the site and if so, why? They were useful.
It would also be really wonderful if there was anywhere on the Additude website a place I could actually email with a question, when the FAQ doesn’t have the answer. There isn’t. I am a subscriber, but I tried to write to “subscriber services” just now and it couldn’t find my subscription. So I’m going to cancel it, before it renews. And there is no other way to get in touch. So there is no one I can ask about where the “save” button is.
Guess how irritated I am about all this.
The contact information for subscription information as well as customer service are listed here (link found at the bottom of the website). https://www.additudemag.com/contact-us/
While i recognise this is complicated and the struggles can be real i look at that list of signs and questions and see most teen girls saying yes to most of it just by the very nature of teenage-dom.
I have 2 boys diagnosed with ADHD and often wonder about my daughter flying under the radar….she struggles with anxiety, perfectionism and some obsessive thinking..
.but she is organised and doesnt lose things….so she shows some but not all symptoms.
But i see most of her teen peers being overly sensitive and reactive, getting headaches (??hormones), get depressive/emotionally volatile and struggle with friendship groups. To a large degree this is the nature of teen girls……given this i would be hesitant to do this test on a teen girl until she matures more…when some of this settles, as has happened with my 21 yr old boy.
Its a dilemma isnt it…we dont want to miss the teens who struggle with this (esp given so often it becomes more apparent in teen years) but we dont want to diagnose what is essentially normal teen social and brain development.
My other concern here too is that our kids are under huge pressure, like we never knew…apart from the much discussed social media etc pressures they are also being expected to produce such a ridiculously high standard of school work…its any wonder they are showing signs of stress.
Thanks for this article. It reminded me that I have washing in the machine that finished hrs ago that I need to take out. Today I was late for work because of losing my keys, I was late leaving work because of forgetting to update some notes and losing a water bottle. And I still haven’t cleared up the chaotic mess that is my room. But today was a good day. The article mentions children and they are out of the question for me. Not just because of my relationship disintegrating because I had trouble prioritising it but also because I can’t even look after a plant. And jewellery, yeah..I’ve given up with that. I’ve never been diagnosed with ADHD though and finally plucked up the courage to mention it to someone who admittedly doesn’t know me very well, recently and they dismissed it, saying I wouldn’t have got through college if I had it. So I decided I’d struggle along alone some more as I feel really foolish now.
Asking someone,a friend, relative or acquaintance, whether they think you have ADD is not a good idea, if my experience is anything to go by. Many people will dismiss it out of hand – let’s face it most people do not believe it is a ‘real’ problem in the first place. The only people who really get it are other ADDers. Having got through college does NOT preclude a diagnosis. You sound as if you could be ‘one of us’, so get a proper assessment!
I am 54 years old I have suffered every scenario mentioned in this article through out my child hood and adult life. My son 34 year old child took medication for years as a child for ADHD 2 of my children take medication and about positive my grandmother was. I am truly grateful to know I am not along in the world Thank you with all my heart. Patricia Hubbard