Life with Anxiety: “I’m Trying to Be a Little Less Afraid”
Women with ADHD have spent their lives scrabbling around for social footing, constantly on edge. This life of fear brings on anxiety — I know, because I have it. Here's what my day-to-day life looks like, and what I do to cope.
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When I was a student at school, everything I needed was in either my school bag or my blazer.
When I got home to my desk, I put my blazer over back of the chair so that everything was still at hand.
At the end of my study and homework, I would pack my bag for the morning. I never relied on remembering something, or remembering to look at notes. I still don’t.
At university, I had the same routine. I had to.
Now I still do the same.
As for people laughing at me, or ridiculing me, I seem to have learned from my father who simply thought that most people were stupid.
One thing in my favour was that I did very well at school, and also at university (after a shay start).
By the end of university I simply was not socially anxious anymore.
Maybe the last 30 years of presenting training courses has helped me.
Last week, my psychologist was surprised that I gave a TEDx talk and enjoyed it. She almost didn’t believe that I worked from scrappy notes.
She then told me public speaking is one of the most common social anxieties.
I actually enrolled at university last year to do psychology with the aim of understanding why most people seem to be immature, and so few people actually grow up.
I withdrew after the first lecture as the lecturer (with a PhD in Psych!) was assessed by me as immature, no sense of humour, poor presenting skills, and taking the wrong approach.
This may seem to be a bit arrogant of me – it probably is – but after talking to one of her students who has recently completed a Master degree, my assessment of the wrong approach is confirmed.
Us ADD people have a lot of skills that we need to use, and be proud of.
We are different. Top level sports stars, actors, intellectuals are different. Like them, we should be proud of our rare skill set.
Hmmph
Absolutely spot on! (Was that the right thing to say? 😰)
I can relate to this. I’ve spent my entire life with my family joking that I was an “absent-minded professor”. Since my diagnosis it’s easier to be kind to myself but the anxiety is still a huge struggle. I almost cried yesterday when my son’s den leader said the parents will no longer alternate bringing a snack to Cub Scouts – Yes!! I don’t have to be the mom who forgets snack anymore!!!