Clutter

Readers Share Their Clutter Stories

How messiness factors into your lives.

By ADDitude Editors Verified Updated on October 7, 2021
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Lost your phone again? Your keys? That report that’s due tomorrow? Since we’re often thinking about something else when we’re putting down important things, inattentive adults are prone to the worst of ADHD’s hallmark disorganizational symptoms. Our homes, cars, and workspaces often look like a tornado just hit them — which can fill inattentive adults with a crippling amount of shame when they compare them to others'. 
Lost your phone again? Your keys? That report that’s due tomorrow? Since we’re often thinking about something else when we’re putting down important things, inattentive adults are prone to the worst of ADHD’s hallmark disorganizational symptoms. Our homes, cars, and workspaces often look like a tornado just hit them — which can fill inattentive adults with a crippling amount of shame when they compare them to others'.

For adults with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD or ADD), and for parents of children diagnosed with ADHD, life can get a bit messy at times.

But, whether you’ve chosen to embrace the chaos (see Saying Yes to Mess) or have made it your mission to manage the mess, one thing is clear: At some point, we all struggle with organizing our homes and our families — and our lives. Here’s what some of you had to say about messiness!

Not an Illusion

Clutter accumulates as if by magic all around my house. I’m having a hard time teaching my four-year-old daughter to put her toys away because I often don’t notice that they’ve been left out.
-Cindy, California

A Ceasefire on Clutter

I used to be messy, but four years in the Marines helped me become more organized. I also make an effort to pick up after myself because my wife prefers things neat and I don’t want to disappoint her.
-Ben, Texas

Valuing Family Time Over Housecleaning

My son will never be neat. Time with my family is more important to me than a spotless house, so we’ve all learned to live with the mess. When he moves out on his own, I’ll have a clean house again…and will have to hire a maid to clean his.
-Joi, Georgia

[Your Free Guide for Controlling Clutter]

Double the Trouble

My husband calls me a “collector.” I hate to throw things out. The irony is that I often end up buying replacements for things instead of looking for them around the house.
-Alison, California

A Pack Rat at Heart

I am unorganized and a sentimental pack rat — a deadly combination. I’m working on reconciling my tendency to “collect” things with what others expect of me.
-Dana, Alabama

Clutter and Quarrels

Messiness is at the root of much conflict in our household. Everyone makes messes, then blames others for them. This has led to my trying to pick up after the others or taking the blame when someone yells. My sense of humor is all that I can lean on.
-Suzanne, Indiana

Enlisting Help

My trouble with prioritizing and my low boredom threshold mean I’d have a house brimming with mail, bills, school notices, projects, letters, and so on — if it wasn’t for my 15-year-old daughter, who has strong organizational skills. She earns extra money — and my gratitude — by taking on tasks for me. -Betsy, Florida

[Free Handout: Clean Up and Get Organized in One Weekend]

A Messy Crowd

My four children and I are all messy, and I can’t stand it. You know those people who say they prefer the mess and know where everything is? I’m not one of them. I don’t know where anything is! We clean up one pile, and another one appears. They just seem to grow like fungus.
-Lisa, New Jersey

One Pile, One Day at a Time

I know where things are in the piles throughout my house, but my husband has to ask me when he needs something. Then I have to stop what I’m doing to go get it for him. (It would take longer to explain, “I think it’s in the pile by the window, with the red shirt on top, halfway down, beneath the black book.”) He’s starting to learn more about ADHD and be more understanding. As a compromise, I try to keep my piles to a minimum. (So far, this has meant fewer, but significantly taller, piles.) It’s a struggle that I take one day at a time.
-Briton, North Carolina