Mission Impossible: Tips for Getting Through the Most Torturous Project on Your To-Do List
My life-changing advice: work on one thing at a time.
Every adult with ADHD has his own personal torture project. These projects are so complicated and time consuming that your brain flees out of your ears to parts unknown every time you think about them.
Oh, you think I’m exaggerating? My brain has been mailing me postcards from all over America because of the last project I tried to finish up. It’s been a crimp in my productivity, to say the least.
I’ve been trying for three years to find a therapist for my two daughters and me. All of us are on different insurance plans: I need adult facilities and they need youth facilities. To complicate matters, the lists of providers for the girls were out of date, so every facility I called no longer took our insurance plan! Or they wouldn’t call back. Or they gave me another number to call. Or they’d lead me back to the same insurance provider who would give me an outdated list again.
This was my most recent attention deficit disorder (ADHD or ADD) torture project. My kids needed me to pull through, so I kept plugging away, but my notes became a jumble of crossed-out phone numbers and irrelevant names as each phone call led me further and further away from a resolution. In frustration and fatigue, I’d take a break for a few months, then I’d start the process all over again when life reminded me that my girls still needed some therapy.
The last lead I had tied me up for months with phone tag. I was no closer than I had been when I started. Who had I called now? Where did I put that number? Wait-is this number for the kids or me? Finally, I had an epiphany. Work on one person at a time.
I can’t emphasize enough how much this changed things. It was as if my brain had returned from vacation. Instead of the typical ADHD state of mind where focus swirled around me like tendrils of fog, constantly out of reach, the fog cleared and I saw the path clearly. Within one day I got in touch with a person, found out I was calling the wrong facility (yay! ADHD!), called the right one, and then suddenly remembered something. This was the same number I had been trying to reach for three years. Each time, somebody said they’d call me back. Then I’d forget about it and start all over again.
I explained to them that I had been trying for three years to set up an appointment, and would they kindly call me back this time? Twenty minutes later I spoke with the right person with the right insurance with the right age group! My daughter had an appointment!
Although the insurance companies made things difficult, they weren’t the problem. The problem was that I was trying to handle three different projects simultaneously. They all seemed related, but they had very different solutions.
When you are faced with your next ADHD torture project, keep these tips in mind:
- Have a separate note file for each project. Even if projects seem related, it’s best to keep each project/person/phone call separate from the others.
- Take detailed notes of the facility/service that you called, especially its name and the people you spoke with. Don’t forget to label those phone numbers!
- Set reminders to follow up. Don’t rely on your memory.
Maybe the next insurance company won’t be torture to track down for me. Now that my brain’s back from vacation, these tips will give it less of a reason to leave home.
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Updated on December 1, 2020