Marriage

My Husband Won’t Open Up

“My spouse doesn’t like to talk about his problems. Does attention deficit make it harder for him to say he’s sad?”

Being reluctant to bring up problems is not, in itself, a sign of ADHD. Research shows that many men have difficulty broaching emotional topics. Women initiate most conversations about feelings.
Practice having constructive conversations about difficult topics. In general, constructive conversations include:

> opening softly, not aggressively, and easing into the conversation

> describing your thoughts in non-blaming “I” statements

> listening carefully (repeat back what you think you heard)

> taking time-outs if emotions get out of control.

If these don’t work, see a marriage counselor.

Melissa Orlov is a contributor to ADDitude, a coauthor of Married to Distraction (#CommissionsEarned), and the author of The ADHD Effect on Marriage (#CommissionsEarned).

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