Move Forward After a Diagnosis By Envisioning Your New Life
Your ADHD diagnosis may have made life seem different and confusing — and it’s normal to need some time to bounce back. But once you have learned to accept ADD as part of who you are, it’s time to follow your dreams. Here’s how to get started.
Part of the grief process for an individual diagnosed with ADHD as an adult is to reshape lost dreams and create a new vision for moving forward now that ADHD — the missing piece — has been discovered.
Here are some exercises and questions I developed to help you do that (excerpted from my book Journeys Through ADDulthood). To begin creating an authentic future for yourself, print or recreate the vision chart at the bottom of the page. Pick one area of the chart and develop an action plan by answering the following questions:
- What vision of yourself or aspect of your life excites you and speaks to the “real you”?
- What would you have to do to begin the process of developing that picture?
- What would be difficult about doing this? What internal barriers might prevent you from taking action?
- What personal strengths could you use to help you with this?
- What new support could you put in place to help you with this?
- What new external structure could you put in place to help you with this?
- What is the first small step you can take toward creating this picture? When will you take it?
- What will you do if you get stuck?
Here’s what you need to do if you get stuck:
- Plan a first step — the smallest first step you can. For instance, call someone for information or look it up online. (A step that may seem small may not actually be small enough if you’re having trouble taking it.)
- If that’s more than you’re ready to do, start by looking up the number or even just find the phone book under the pile of stuff.
Next, ask yourself:
- What would be hard about taking this first step?
- What would prevent me from taking it? Is it the fear of being overwhelmed or of increased pressure?
- What would actually happen if I did take this step?
- What personal strengths of mine would help me take it?
Tell your plan to one person who can envision your being able to accomplish it. Keep checking in to confide to this person any fears or resistance you may be experiencing. Remember that this individual is not there to judge your performance, but to help you stay focused on the meaning of your quest.
Where Would You Like to Go?
Write a short description (or make a picture) that captures the true essence of how you would like your life to look in each of these areas.