Guest Blogs

“I’m Tired of Yo-Yoing Through Jobs and Relationships”

Can adults with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder live stable, calm lives?

The typical heat and humidity of summer in Gotham aren’t the only things making me swelter.

Last June a new man emerged in my life, I ditched my fifth floor walk-up apartment, and made my way to a seemingly more stable life in a penthouse with a new relationship to grow into. A year later, yet another friend from high school is getting married, another one just had a baby, and I am single. Yes, I’m still living in a gorgeous penthouse in one of the most desirable neighborhoods in Manhattan, but the reality is, it’s a life I just can’t afford. Yes, I still have a job as a professional writer, but for how long?

I know I need to remain calm, but around me, my company — the world? — is brewing up a storm, ready to knock me down.

I’ve had a round robin of bosses in less than a year, and now the ADHD Boss has been given a pink slip and a lofty exit package. While the boss’s forced departure isn’t a complete surprise, given the nature of the company and its top honchos, the fact that the he openly admitted his ADHD at work makes me fear for my own job security. What would happen if I were let go? Could I handle yet another setback? At least the now-ex-Boss has an understanding wife and family — stability to go home to.

The number of changes in my life seems incredible for someone my age, and when the reality of my boss’s demise hits me, I am reminded of my own struggle. Is this — yo-yoing through life — the fate of those of us with this disorder? Are ADHD adults destined for a lifetime of brief relationships, both personally and professionally?

The other day I was discussing these issues with the Father — how I long for a family and home to call my own, and a job that won’t always seem so tentative. “Well,” he said (I could tell he was trying to stay optimistic and strong for me), “we are your family and at least you have us.” He shares in my sorrow, understands my loneliness, and as much as he wills things to change, he, too, is only human. After all, she left him, too.