Marriage

I Don’t Need Your Help

“My wife says she can handle her ADHD without help. Is this possible?”

Melissa Orlov
By Melissa Orlov Verified Updated on July 21, 2021
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2. Fight the tendency to over-commit. For each new commitment you make, give up an old one. If you agree to join the school fund-raising committee, for instance, give up the neighborhood watch committee. ADHDers tend to spread themselves too thin.3. Keep your to-do lists brief. Using big, bold letters, make a list of no more than five tasks on an index card. (List any additional items on the back of the card.) Once you have done those five things, refer to the back of the card to create a new to-do list—and discard the old one. You’ll accomplish more, feel less frustrated, and manage your time better.
2. Fight the tendency to over-commit. For each new commitment you make, give up an old one. If you agree to join the school fund-raising committee, for instance, give up the neighborhood watch committee. ADHDers tend to spread themselves too thin.3. Keep your to-do lists brief. Using big, bold letters, make a list of no more than five tasks on an index card. (List any additional items on the back of the card.) Once you have done those five things, refer to the back of the card to create a new to-do list—and discard the old one. You’ll accomplish more, feel less frustrated, and manage your time better.

It’s important for your wife to measure her progress in managing symptoms against the goals she is trying to meet. Both of you should set goals that will improve your relationship. If she can reach them on her own, by creating structure, reminder systems, and using medication, that’s great. If she finds she is falling short, she should get professional help — a coach or a therapist — to help her make progress. You should be the last resort in helping her achieve her goals. Her response to you suggests that she doesn’t want your assistance.