Intellectually gifted students are highly vulnerable to stress and burnout when their high IQ is paired with a learning difference, condition, or disability. These twice exceptional (2e) students experience extreme peaks and valleys as their strengths and challenges create an internal tug-of-war. They know they are capable of greatness, but achieving it means overcoming great (though invisible) obstacles. External pressure and peer competition only add to the stress. As an old Peanuts comic strip said, “There is no heavier burden than a great potential.” And don’t our 2e kids know it.
Help your 2e student avoid burnout by learning its early warning signs and creating systems that reduce their day-to-day overwhelm. Here’s how.
Gifted Kid Burnout: Why It Happens and How to Spot It
The distance between 2e kids’ strengths and challenges is vast. These students may feel incredibly smart at times, like when they master a concept much faster than their peers. But dread and panic set in when dyslexia, ADHD, anxiety, or symptoms of another condition seem to hijack their academic progress.
As twice-exceptional kids navigate this complex, exhausting combination of polar-opposite attributes, their self-concept suffers and imposter syndrome may set in. They may think, “Maybe I’m not so smart after at.” Even comments from parents, teachers, and other adults — “You could achieve so much if you just applied yourself,” or “I know you are capable of so much more” — can fuel self-doubt and stress in these kids.
[Read: Lost, Late, or Burnt Out?]
As school demands inevitably pile up and become more complex, 2e kids need specific and anticipatory supports. Without appropriate supports, the demands outstrip a student’s capacity to cope, and the burnout pattern begins. Signs of 2e burnout include the following:
- withdrawing and closing off from others; moving into a “safe zone”
- irritability and impulsivity; lashing and acting out
- rigid, inflexible thinking; unable to “go with the flow”
- feeling overwhelmed
- feeling trapped and helpless
How to Avoid Burnout: Strategies for Gifted Kids
Look for Patterns
Help your child recognize situations — times, tasks, subjects, and settings — that cause them to feel overwhelmed. This way, they can plan ahead, lean on their strengths, and reduce their chances of burning out. Ask your child questions like the following to increase their self-awareness:
- What time of day do you feel your best? When do you feel your worst?
- Which skills do you enjoy using?
- Which classes and subjects do you enjoy the most? Which ones do you find most challenging, and why?
[Read: How to Teach Emotional Regulation Skills]
Build and Practice Coping Skills
As your child begins to recognize their patterns, encourage them to ask, “How might I respond when I’m in a stressful situation? How can I be flexible when things don’t go as expected? Which coping strategies would help me the most?” Possible coping strategies include the following:
- practicing mindfulness, trying breathing exercises, and observing feelings
- taking breaks, especially during challenging tasks or moments
- saying a positive affirmation
- asking, “If I had a friend who was experiencing this, what advice would I give them?”
- asking parents, teachers, and/or friends for help (social connections are key for promoting resilience)
Coping skills are virtually impossible to learn while stress is unfolding, so help your child practice these skills often. Remind your child that identifying and applying the right coping skills during moments of stress is a process of trial and error that requires patience and persistence.
Create Daily Structure
Visual schedules and routines provide 2e children with the predictability they need to feel in control, conserve resources, and manage stress. Scheduling starts with a bird’s-eye view of important dates — like tests, project deadlines, music recitals — and tapers down to what’s happening on a weekly, daily, and hourly level.
- Color-code must-dos, should-dos, and want-to-dos that comprise your child’s schedule. Viewing to-dos like this can help your child readily adjust plans and make time for what really matters. Downtime and fun time are vital, so be sure to help your child make room for non-academic pursuits and passions.
- Review weekly and daily schedules with the goal of anticipating and reducing stress. At the beginning of each week, ask your child to mark which days ahead might be stressful, and what can be done about it, like practicing coping skills or changing plans to avoid an overloaded schedule. It might be difficult for your child — as is the case for many bright, motivated kids who want to do it all — to drop plans. Remind your child that more is not necessarily better, and that the goal is to reduce stress so they can thrive.
- Develop routines that align with your child’s rhythms. When do they hit their stride? When are they typically hungry? When do they need downtime? How many hours of sleep do they need? What do they need to successfully transition through activities? Build these daily patterns into your child’s schedule.
Provide Supportive Physical Environments
- Establish zones for major tasks — studying, playing, eating, etc. — with all the supplies your child would need for a given activity.
- Declutter spaces to help your child focus in a distraction-free environment.
- Everything has a home; put high-use items, like sports equipment and backpacks, in the same place each time to avoid the unnecessary stress of looking for misplaced items.
- Help your child sort, clean, and repack their backpack as often as needed, whether daily or weekly. Together, create a “clean and ready backpack” checklist.
- Decorate your child’s spaces. Add visuals, sounds, and smells that help your child feel calm and happy.
Maintain Motivation
- Task analyzing — or breaking down a task into smaller steps and incorporating breaks — is an important practice to reduce the feeling of being overwhelmed especially if your child’s first reaction to big projects or difficult subjects is, “There is no way I can do that!”
- What does your child want to accomplish? Help them identify small and big, short-and long-term goals — academic and beyond — that matter to them.
- Use a reward system to help your child stay motivated as they display effort and persistence toward a goal, use their coping skills, and show other desired behaviors. Help them identify rewards of all kinds that genuinely interest them, and assign point values to small and large rewards. Check in often to make sure previously selected rewards and goals still matter to your child.
Gifted Kid Burnout: Next Steps for 2e Kids
- Free Download: 20 Learning Strategies Designed for Students with ADHD
- Read: “I Grew Up Gifted and Autistic — and Suffered the Burnout of Twice Exceptionality”
- Read: “My Gifted Teen Has ADHD — and So. Much. Frustration.”
The content for this article was derived from the ADDitude webinar titled, “Avoiding & Recovering from 2e Burnout: Support for Gifted Students” [Video Replay & Podcast #467] with Mary Ruth Coleman, Ph.D., which was broadcast on August 17, 2023.
References
Coleman M. R. (2016). Recognizing young children with high potential: U-STARS∼PLUS. Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences, 1377(1), 32–43. https://doi.org/10.1111/nyas.13161
Kirk, S. A., Gallagher, J. J., & Coleman, M. R. (2015). Educating exceptional children (14th ed.). Belmont, CA: Cengage.
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Updated on May 9, 2025