Ask the Experts

Getting Help Around the House

“How can I get my ADHD husband to do his fair share of the housework? I don’t like having to hound him, but I’m tired of doing everything myself.”

Be sure that he’s actually heard your request. Don’t ask him to do something while his attention is focused on something else (TV, work, etc.). And keep your requests simple. If you ask, “Honey, can you take out the trash before you go to work?” he’ll probably start worrying about everything he has to do before going to work-and get little done.

Always show your appreciation. Catch your husband doing something helpful, and praise him, citing specifics: “Thanks for bringing your dishes to the kitchen. It’s so much nicer when we work together.” If that doesn’t work, try humor. Or take a deep breath, and let it go. It probably won’t matter 10 years from now.