whisperingwings

My Forum Comments

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 30 total)
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  • in reply to: Automated Customer Service Phone Menu Anxiety! #129228

    whisperingwings
    Participant

    It’s annoying for me too. I also do not like answering to the automated question “Tell us what you’re calling about today,” because of my learning disability. It affects my speech and the system does not understand what I’m saying. I have anxiety talking on the phone overall. I will quickly explode if someone next to me is making even a little sound when I’m on the phone.

  • in reply to: Laziness versus ADHD #129063

    whisperingwings
    Participant

    For the lazy people who I know without ADHD, I always get reply such as “this is how we are, deal with it.”

    With ADHD people, they explain more with their symptoms and how much they are struggling.

  • in reply to: Asperger, Autism and ADHD? #116858

    whisperingwings
    Participant

    Thank you to everyone who replied. Dr. Eric, can you give real life examples of how to tell it apart? In ADHD, people can understand what others are feelings and in ASD, they will not know if the person is happy, sad, angry, etc?

  • in reply to: ADHD and loneliness #116242

    whisperingwings
    Participant

    Thank you all for the replies. I appreciate all of them. I cannot enjoy typical social situations. Maybe I get bored easily. When I’m happy, I also become hyper and then people get annoyed like “Why are you overreacting?” I want to say “This is how I show my excitement, what are you complaining about? You want me to return to self hatred mode?”

    I avoid going out. I like being home and engage in my art. When I do go out or have to be in a social situations, I feel trouble always come at me even when I’m minding my own business. Adults can be bullies with name callings, physical attacks and so on just because I’m different.

    To reassure myself I’m not alone, I tried to go to ADHD and Dyslexia adult support groups but I feel that the groups never get into deeps topics like the forums here. It’s usually about how to manage time, organize better, what apps to download for reading, etc so I get bored and I wonder “Am I the only ADHD person with severe symptoms?” or “Do I really have ADHD?”

    It’s only when I go on the internet and read articles or forums that I feel “I’m not alone.” Do any of you feel this way?

  • in reply to: ADHD and loneliness #112722

    whisperingwings
    Participant

    Skypark962, I agree with you that friendship should not be a struggle. Sometimes I think there’s nothing wrong with us. They are the one with the problem because how can someone feel good to use another person or disappear after saying they will always be there for you, reach out to them, etc etc. So many fake people.

    I probably would have done the same thing and mail that person 2 free tickets. I feel ADHD people are very giving and it’s hard for us to say “No.”

    You know what else? They are the people who give me their phone numbers, email, contact information first! It’s not only 1 person who did this to me. Social media cause more stress and pressure to have “friends” with people posting endless pictures of themselves having a good time with each other.That’s one of the reasons I don’t have Facebook anymore. I only keep a Twitter for my business reason.

  • in reply to: Talking #87190

    whisperingwings
    Participant

    I’m old, I’m 33. I don’t know about having mainly hyperactive and few inattentive symptoms. I feel as if I have them both at the same time…if that is even possible. I think you are very bored with your surroundings. Are you getting help with speech?

    Sometimes I feel overexcited and happy about things that most people will not see as funny or amusing but maybe that’s because we can see and feel things they cannot catch? I still have trouble sitting still, waiting my turn, or even waiting at all. I see people my age and I cannot help but wonder “how do you do that?” This week, I made a lot of embarrassing mistakes with words. I misread “Brian King” and wrote “Burger King” in an email at work. Call someone “Kill” instead of “Kim.” I try to laugh at myself.

  • in reply to: Talking #87122

    whisperingwings
    Participant

    Hi Jolly, I have ADHD (with hyperactivity and inattention) and it happens to me all the times. I also have dyslexia. I see (pictures, scenarios) what I want to say in my mind, or I have the answer but it doesn’t come out in the correct order, with the right pronunciation. It sounds jumble up, a run on sentence with horrible grammar that doesn’t make sense.

    If I can, I try to show people instead of explaining to them with speech. Or writing can help because I don’t feel pressure with the person in front of me waiting. For me, it’s better to work on a paragraph for more than 10 minutes, correcting it multiple times on the computer instead of being humiliated.

    Many people think I’m stupid, laugh at me or they think I’m suffering from anxiety. The anxiety does come but it’s secondary. It’s cause by being embarrassed from the symptoms. I don’t have any friends. The only people I get along with are ADHD or Dyslexics. Other people rush and judge me in a very negative way without trying or wanting to understand.

  • in reply to: ADHD and adult bullying #83656

    whisperingwings
    Participant

    Thank you for all the energy! I contribute to that office especially with creative problem solving and in priority situation. They treat me like crap because they think I cannot get any other job as a result off my ADHD and Dyslexia (speaking/language skills). I’m a very visual person. I’m hyper but I’m not the socializing type. I have problem with speaking, cannot pronounce words, cannot make sentences quickly. I’m actually the very quiet person who fidgets a lot when I’m bored. If I’m stimulated, I don’t fidget at all. They think I am too scared to stand up for myself because a nonprofit company that provide support for people with mental illness and learning disabilities help me get this job. Actually, I am in the process to be self employed. I’m an artist and poet. I try to cheer myself up by putting a few of my sketches on my cubicle. In the meantime, you’re right. I’m not going to let them get away with treating me like this. I thought about it whole week, and I’m going to speak up. I mean, really say something when it happens next time. I’m going to prepare myself from being “frozen,” because it will happen again. It was not the first time. My manager is a b**** who picks on me the most even though she knows about my ADHD plus Dyslexia. Most People at the office thinks I’m strange already so disclosing my ADHD (and Dyslexia) to the team at meeting will not make any difference. The next time this happens at a meeting, I’m going to say “This is not funny at all. I have ADHD and Dyselxia. You will not treat me like this if I’m sitting on a wheelchair.” I will prepare saying this at home or in my mind. I wonder what will be the reaction? It’s not about our sensitivity. it’s ok to not get along with everyone but this behavior from them is beyond that point. If necessary, I can bring in articles and send them youtube links about ADHD. Mainstream society is always preaching about respecting diversity – color of skin, gender, culture, etc. Having a different brain is one kind of diversity and people will not have chance to understand if we don’t start talking back.

  • in reply to: ADHD and adult bullying #83302

    whisperingwings
    Participant

    Thank you for taking time to reply and give me advice. I am treating my ADHD with Adderall and vitamins like Omega 3, ginkoba, etc. I talked with an EEO officer about the pen throwing incident and I don’t think he can do anything. He just said he will keep an eye out. Yes, I think confronting the individual when it happens is helpful. At those moments, I feel frozen and I don’t know how to unfreeze myself and react at that time but I will try… My manager (who aim, threw the pen, and burst out laughing) with other people actually know I have ADHD because I needed accommodation. The pen missed me but I felt very uncomfortable. It happened at a meeting and meetings are very hard to sit for an hour plus. I found myself day dreaming, fidgeting and looking out the window, around the room. If an argument does arise, how can I handle it? Most people who I talked with at work think I take things too personally but they will never say that if I am sitting on a wheel chair. I know ADHD people are more sensitive but this kind of treatment should not be accepted for anyone, anywhere?

  • in reply to: I dont know any other brain #82849

    whisperingwings
    Participant

    “I wish I could have a neurotypical brain, just for one day, just to see what it feels like.” So do I. How does it feel to not struggle with things that most people automatically do without thinking. How do they view the world? I’m really curious. Everything is so intense to me.

  • in reply to: Any hyper girls out here? (Women with ADHD-combined) #78154

    whisperingwings
    Participant

    I also have the ADHD combined type. I think in images, cannot focus, feels too much and daydream a lot. At the same time, I’m also very impatient, interrupts people, blurt out answers, cannot be still and talks a lot if it’s something I’m interested in. I also feel alone because there are few articles on this and when you go out, it seems like most women in society have self control (the way they carry themselves, move around, talk, walk) but I’m all over the place, scattered. Sometimes I feel like a child in an adult body. Society have more expectation to not be a hyperactive woman since they cannot accept hyperactive girls in the first place. You are right, this is you and medications cannot mold us permanently into what society wants. On the bright side, I’m sure you are a really fun person to be around with an active imagination and not boring at all.

  • in reply to: Living with ADHD & Depression-will I ever feel happy? #76217

    whisperingwings
    Participant

    Hi kdmcdonald22,

    I know that feeling of loneliness when you are actually surrounded by people. It’s about being mentally alone, not being able to connect with anyone socially, intellectually or based on interest. I have very low tolerance for boredom and then that triggers intense sadness around most people because their conversation or life style is not interesting to me and I am forced to listen to it. I cannot engage in small talks or conversations that are not meaningful. If you are a coworker, I don’t want to hear about your shopping trip at Target or what you ate for dinner. Most people can engage in these kinds of discussions and go on and on… I feel like exploding. Then I get very depressed and start blaming myself “Why can’t I be like them? Why is it so hard for me to be comfortable and happy? How can I survive in this world?” I try telling myself that it’s not my fault, I have a different brain and I’m only with the wrong group of people, living in the wrong place (city life). I don’t want to push myself to be like them and I have to accept this is how they are. I have depression too but I think it’s triggered by the ADHD. When I am in a quiet environment surrounded by nature or with people who shares my interests, I don’t feel bad anymore. Medication can help but we also have consider the environment/surrounding. It’s great that you are reaching out by sharing your thoughts with us. We are here for you and we have similar experiences so you are really not alone.

  • in reply to: Living with ADHD and Dyslexia #75203

    whisperingwings
    Participant

    On most days, I do feel like I would be much better if I an alone. I feel that people gave me a lot of stresses since I cannot filter anything and I feel too much. When I am upset, I will blurt out extreme comments. Most of the times the other person don’t know they upset me. At the same time, I also feel guilty that I gave people a lot of trouble with my impulsiveness, sensitivity, procrastination, and a very low tolerance for boredom. I try to keep to myself and don’t talk so there’s fewer chance of misunderstanding. Well, there will be misunderstanding anyway with neurotypical people. They will see me as rude or uninterested no matter what. And they will always bore me very easily too. My speech is slow and it’s not smooth when I speak but my mind is very active with images, videos running all the times, ideas, patterns, etc. I cannot slow it down and I get angry when people tell me things like “slow down, you think too much.” I should tell them to “speed up, think more so you are not boring” but they will surely get offended.

  • in reply to: Living with ADHD and Dyslexia #75151

    whisperingwings
    Participant

    Thank you for sharing your stories with me. I really appreciate your thoughtfulness. Even when things are not working out so well for us, this community is very important. I still have my bad days but the additiude group is helping me remind myself of the positive traits that I do have when someone teases me, I cannot read, speak well,spell, walk straight, accident prone, cannot do simple things, feel bad for being different, etc. Today, I was forced to sit with a colleague and learn about the phone aspect of our job. He’s a neurotypical. We were talking to a vendor on speaker phone but he couldn’t figure out what was wrong and we stayed on the phone with that person for about 30 minutes. I took my adderall and luckliy it was helping at that moment or I would be boiling with impatience! I had a solution since the beginning but scared to say it because I thought he’s like a teacher to me now so it’s disrespectful. I finally suggested my solution and it quickly fixed the problem in less than 5 minutes.

    Do you feel that you can quickly see the answer before other people? I try to control myself from blurting things out because I don’t want to be rude. But it’s very difficult because your brain is screaming “It’s right there! Can we get to the point and move on?!” Also, I cannot engage in small talk. When people say to me “why you don’t socialize?” I really want to tell them “Because you’re so boring, I rather be daydreaming and escape you.” And I get comments like “You’re always in your own little world” I would want to say “Because the real world doesn’t stimulate me enough”

    Talking about cultures, my mom would say to me when I lived with her “Girls/Women should be organized, why you cannot organize?” Then we would get into these big fights because I procrastinate and she threaten to kick me out, actually did kicked me out one winter snow storm in NYC.That was one of the most difficult times in my life, didn’t have any family and I really thought it’s the end but I passed. I was 24 at that time. I’m 32 now, will be 33 in March. I know I will outlive my father even if I do things my way. (I also like song “My Way,” especially the rock version)

    Again, thank you for reading my post.

  • in reply to: Laziness versus ADHD #129302

    whisperingwings
    Participant

    Blue – Thank you for breaking it all down with examples. I can visualize and understand better.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 30 total)