My Forum Comments
What a dilemma.
Your sons levels of frustration appear to be an issue, which reflects in his behaviour. His social communication skills, affected by his apparent difficulties to communicate his needs, difficulty articulating what he wants to say or what he has heard. Has he been tested for Auditory Processing Disorder? This means that hearing is fine but brain has difficulty processing what has been heard, thus responses could be in inappropriate or misinterpreted. The approach is speech and language therapy. Auditory Processing Disorder can run parallel to A.D.H.D. as can other conditions.
The schools response is a double edged sword. Keeping him back a year to improve his social skills whilst his peers move up a year. The school is basically saying that by being in a year group that is in your sons chronological age they hope that this will improve his social skills, whilst acknowledging that he is above average academically. It is an unusual approach.
your sons emotional well being should be one of the major considerations. It would appear that your son knows he is different and the lack of friendships could be impacting on his sense of self worth. His adverse behaviour apart from poor social skills is also a form of attention seeking. The attitude being if I play up people/peers take notice of me. To onlookers who don’t understand the child’s difficulties consider that your child is being very immature.
Mum try not to let your anxieties transfer to your son. I know easier said than done.
With your son being “Bright” it is important to be aware that we don’t kill his motivation to succeed academically.
I have known some kids who choose to underachieve in order to “fit In.”
Your son could benefit from seeing a therapist to improve his social skills/social interaction skills and social imagination skills. Perhaps he/she could start with some play therapy or art therapy. If you do decide to go down this route hopefully the therapist will give you some coping strategies.
You can contact me should you want a few ideas.
good luck to you and your family.
ANN.May 2, 2018 at 5:32 am in reply to: How to help my son focus and complete work in school #83423
You sound frustrated. How about this for a suggestion.
Negotiation + x2 containers.
Your sons participation is important+ pieces of paper & a pen. Ask him 6 rewards that he would like, he rights them down on pieces of paper folds the paper & puts them in one container. Next he writes down 6 consequences he writes them down folds paper and puts the in other container.
When he complies he pulls out of reward container, non compliance consequences other container.
Object of exercise he has pulled out relevant piece of paper, you have not.
Hello AB mum,
Both of you sit down. Explain that not only does he have rights, but as parents you also have rights. He is now too old for a reward chart. Suggest a contract of agreement.
Discuss say 6 things that annoy you both (3 concerns each) Both of you sign. Review after 2 wks. Cross of the thing that has improved and possibly add other concerns that need to be addressed. It is about working as a team and respecting each other.