trishalfaro

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  • in reply to: Benefits to being clinically diagnosed? #75174
    trishalfaro
    Participant

    I think so – it will motivate you to find out more about your symptoms and how to resolve them, you’ll have AHA! Moments where you realize that THAT’S why that certain thing has been that way all your life… and if you’re interested, consider medication. It made a world of difference for me.

    in reply to: The Workplace and ADHD #75173
    trishalfaro
    Participant

    I was seeking ADA rights – I could do the job just fine, but not necessarily in the order they wanted me to. I had to answer the phone and attend to clients needs – but as soon as I hung up, they would want me to set aside the previous client’s case and constantly be on the phone. 5-6 clients later NOBODY can remember all the details of a client’s case if you can’t write them down… and we’re talking about making changes in their accounts, sending out letters or paperwork to them and the other entity, sending faxes, and documentingg everything thing you said and did in detail. I simply asked if I could be allowed to do things in my own order. . my boss was gone for 3 days and I did things “my” way and kept track and my performance was up like 20%. It didn’t matter. Once I submitted my ADA REQUWST, they found multiple reasons to fire me before the papers could get processed in HR. I learned my lesson. Zip your lip.

    in reply to: When I can’t stand anyone at work, am I the problem? #46495
    trishalfaro
    Participant

    YES! So much of what everyone has said makes so much sense to me! 1. Yes – I’m over-sensitive to rejection/critisim… BUT I have also noticed a very pervasive shift in what I would have considered on “the old days” as “common sense” and “common courtesy”. It’s like no one has basic manners anymore! Also, there tends to be far more focus on what people are doing wrong and hardly anyone points out or compliments people anymore on the positive or good things anymore. I also seem to have problems because when I’m given a set of rules, I follow them, and while I certainly understand that sometimes there are exceptions, they should be EXCEPTIONAL exceptions, and not feel more like arbitrary ones or up to personal discretion of supervisors. Trying to maintain a feeling of fairness (as we ADHDer’s are fond of!) is met with disapproval or outright hostility. I’ve learned that, at least for me, I work best on my own with little supervision and lots of autonomy!

    in reply to: Husband with ADHD takes everything personally #46474
    trishalfaro
    Participant

    Hi! Unfortunately – I have to agree. I tend to take things far more personally than I should, too. I don’t want to assume the worst when stuff like that happens, but it’s really hard to remind myself not to, and I think part of the problem stems from some of the struggle for us to make and maintain good friends. I was diagnosed late in life, too, and have always struggled socially. Also, it’s really common for ADHD to be combined with other issues like anxiety or other sensitivities… lots of resources on this site!!! My best suggestion, from experience, is that if he’s unaware of what he is doing and is not seeking or receiving therapy (so he does not have specific tools to work with to deescalate) is to perhaps let him blow off some steam and once he had calmed down a bit maybe he’ll be more receptive to looking at the situation from a different perspective. It works for me. It’s not always pleasant for my partner… but we’ve also talked about it enough that he knows key phrases to catch my attention and get me to just STOP and recognize that I’m over-reacting or not necessarily putting proper perspective on something. Good luck!

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