My Forum Comments
Hello from the East Valley!
If I’m being totally honest, I’m still pursuing a diagnosis and came to this forum hoping for some guidance. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder (at Banner in Mesa) just over a year ago, after a long time of feeling something in my brain was constantly setting me apart, but after much time on this site and others, bipolar doesn’t seem to be the only thing happening up there.
Your situation reminds me of several of the men in my life I’ve cared deeply about; our society does a poor job of extinguishing biases. Now that you have a diagnosis, actually facing it and dealing with the fallout are steps it’ll be your responsibility to take in order to move into a phase where you can work through the disorder instead of just feeling overwhelmed by it. Easier said than done of course, but the worst step you could take would be to ignore it. It sounds like you’re on your way to gaining a more workable understanding, but I hope this helps and feel free to reach back out!
Also, in case you enjoy books, I’d be remiss not to recommend:
David and Goliath – Malcolm Gladwell
The Obstacle Is The Way – Ryan HolidaySsuarez0Participant
Bipolar here. You’ve pretty much nailed it already; your ego, or more specifically, the part of you that’s been socialized to believe what “normal” is, is failing you at the moment. Being of a particular age or success level has no bearing on whether your brain has developed to work the way our society has decided it ought to. For all science knows, humans can evolve to do a great deal more than we have up to this point and have been limited a great deal by insisting everything outside of the average is negative.
If the Adderall makes living in the present year more livable, avoiding it would be like insisting upon going into Target barefoot; the challenges around us have been mostly created by us, so there’s no shame in adjusting to them when they cannot be eliminated. Therapy, if you can find it, can help make sense of the weirdness involved with feeling drug-dependent.