My Forum Comments
While I am not dismissing your advice, I’d just like to point out that holding a kid back wouldn’t stop puberty from coming, nor would it stop them from becoming socially awkward during it, no matter how old they are in relation to their peers.
Also, “allowing” your child to repeat a year makes it sound like their decision. If your child approaches you with the subject of repeating a grade, then you should probably let them after making sure that the decision has been thought out. However, this is usually not the case, and it is ultimately the parent’s, not the student’s, decision, regardless of who brought it up.sewing4fun12Participant
Hi. As someone who’s been on the receiving end of this issue before, I’d like to give my opinion.
As a kid, I was diagnosed with ADHD and Asbergers Syndrome. I too tested at the gifted level, and I too was tiny and, with my birthday being in very late August, literally the youngest of my class. I remember that at the end of the school year my mom asked me if I wanted to repeat 1st grade so that I “wouldn’t be the youngest anymore”. Looking back on this now that I’m older, I can see why she really asked, but at the time I very adamantly told her no, saying that I really didn’t mind being the youngest and that since I already learned everything for 1st grade I’d just be bored.
Even with my hindsight, though, I probably would have made the same choice. Since I already knew everything they would have been reteaching me, there would have been nothing to engage me in school, which for someone with ADHD is torture. I would have hated it, possibly causing me to loose the enjoyment of going to school that I had at the time.
Besides, even though I was, in hindsight, very far behind my classmates at the time in terms of social skills, it honestly didn’t take me long to catch up. The progress was gradual, so I’m not sure when exactly it happened, but I was basically all caught up by 5th grade. In fact, my freshman year of High school, a lot of the upperclassmen I befriended thought I was a sophomore for the beginning of the year, despite how much younger than my actual age I looked, let alone in comparison to everyone else in my grade, claiming that I acted too mature to be a freshman. I’m currently in college now, living away from home in my dorm, and I’m doing just fine socially. While, granted, I still have a few issues due to my mental disorders, I’m actually coping with them really well, and staying back a year wouldn’t have helped any with these anyway.
Bottom line: your son will probably be perfectly fine, and maybe even better off, continuing on to 4th grade with his classmates. Granted I am a girl, and it is a scientific fact that girls generally mature faster than boys, so this might be a confounding variable, but this really shouldn’t affect too much at that age, especially considering that all the other boys are maturing later,too. As long as he gets caught up socially with all the boys in his class by the beginning of Middle School, your son will be golden.
I hope my personal perspective has helped in your decision, but keep in mind that I am not an expert, nor have I met your son. Ultimately you know your child best, and this decision is yours to make. If you decide to hold him back a year, then that could very well be the best choice for him. Please just consider the points brought up in my anecdotes, and do what you think is right.
I wish both you and your son the best.
- This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by sewing4fun12.