sagesarge

My Forum Comments

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  • in reply to: When ADHD marries ADHD #91774
    sagesarge
    Participant

    I’m in the same boat as well. Me, my husband, and one of our 2 kids has ADHD. My choices are the same as yours when stuff needs to be done around the house: 1) live with it, 2) nag everyone else to do it (and then supervise to make sure it gets done), or 3) just give up and do it myself (which makes me resentful). The fact that the husband and kid with ADHD suffer from anxiety, too complicates matters — if I nag too much or the wrong way, I create more anxiety and that makes everything worse. My husband gets really excited when he finds a new strategy to help get things done (a new list app, a new timer system, etc.) but, in keeping with ADHD, he uses it faithfully for a week and then loses interest and we’re back where we started. My current strategy is to wait it out and trust that he’ll find some organizational strategy that works, and in the meantime just be happy that he’s trying instead of stewing about how I’m always nagging him…

    For what it’s worth, you’re not alone. 🙂

    in reply to: Repeat third grade for social issues? #91766
    sagesarge
    Participant

    My son has just graduated from high school at age 17. He has ADHD and anxiety, and while he was always intellectually capable of doing the work at a higher grade level, socially and emotionally he struggled. I started discussing having him repeat a grade as early as kindergarten. When I went to talk to his teacher about it, she said “You can’t hold him back — he already knows everything we teach in kindergarten!”

    I had the same conversation at various points with other teachers and counselors over the years, up through middle school. I found, though, that each year they became more resistant to the idea (I think because of the social stigma a kid who repeats a grade will suffer).

    School was a huge struggle — he was smart enough to take all advanced classes, but emotionally and socially there was a lot of stress about keeping up with assignments. We struggled to find the balance between helping him meet his academic potential while also getting him the social/emotional support system he needed to get his work done. It’s a tricky balance — and one that schools don’t usually have a system to address. If my son had had another year to mature, though, there would have been a lot less stress about getting schoolwork done, etc.. If I had a time machine, though, I would go back and fight the teachers and have him repeat the grade.

    That’s my 2 cents. Good luck!

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