My Forum Comments
It doesn’t matter what he os diagnosed with it doesn’t give him the right to behave negatively towards you.
No one here will be able to tell you why he is like this because there are so many things it could be that don’t have anything to do with ADHD as well.
It is wonderful you are looking to support him but make sure you are getting support for yourself.
My best friend of over 15 years has similar attitudes to your husband and also has symptoms of ADHD ODD and Rejection sensitivity. It has built up into alcoholism and physical abuse of his sister and friends, I had to go to hospital because he bit through my ear.
If his behaviour is getting worse and hurtful to you you need to get support for yourself and evaluate just what you are willing to put up with
Now for him refusing to do things at home, do you already have a division of tasks or are you the one cooking, cleaning and washing everything?
Because if you are I would refuse to do anything for him until he got a better attitude and was thankful for everything you do.
However that is just me, and if you think doing something like that will make your life worse and his behaviour worse I would seriously consider finding a psychologist or something similar for yourself.
Just because someone has ADHD/ODD/ect isn’t an excuse for bad behaviour and yes maybe you might need to accommodate them and support them in someways it doesn’t mean you have to be there doormat to spit on.ryotoParticipant
I am currently waiting for my ADHD assessment (next month). I don’t want to ask my family to contribute to my assessment.
First you have a lot of symptoms you identify with so make a list of times from you childhood and now that show how these symptoms affect you.
You are not expected to hit every criteria maybe you are more daydreamy than distracted ADHD is different for everyone.
I am lucky enough to have some of my old school notebooks and reports. If you have anything like that it might be worth going through as it might jog your memory of things that happened or how you thought and felt when you were younger.
Even old photos might remind you of stories people have told you about yourself when you were younger.
You could also try to fish out some information from your sisters without telling them about the assessment. You could just say I feel like I am more daydreamy than I was when I was younger, what do you think?
But don’t stress too much as any competent assessor will know how to assess an adult with limited childhood knowledge and if you disagree with the assessment you can always ask for a second opinion!