My Forum Comments
Firstly as someone in the Uk who has been waiting 2 years to get tested contact your GP as soon as possible. If they hadn’t wanted to test me for ASD first the waitlist can be up to 6 years for an adult.
I have not spoken about my ADHD suspicions with parents but I have with my cousin who is older and her brother was diagnosed ADHD as a child.
I asked her to go through the checklist with me because I identified with the symptoms and asked her to tell me if there was anything she could think of about me when I was younger that hits the criteria.
In your case you could tell them your roommate brought it up and ask them to go through the checklist with you because your concerned and you have been having issues at uni.
On the uni point, have you thought about contacting your disabled students service? They might be able to give you advice / support and potentiality might get the diagnosis boat going faster.
I identify with a lot of what you have listed here as your symptoms.
I am also from a family with quite a few people suffering with a wide range in severity of ASD and AD(H)D and other unrelated conditions.
If you don’t feel like you can confide in a parent at this stage, is there another adult you could talk to? Aunt, Uncle, Teacher older cousins ect who might be able to help you navigate your feelings and concerns?
Alternatively you could ask to speak to your schools Special educational needs department.
If you didn’t want your school to know about your concerns about your self you could always say you just wanted more information to help you under stand your siblings better.
I am waiting for my formal diagnosis (prospered due to Covid) but I have not felt comfortable within my immediate family to discuss it until I have I guess proof because I know I wouldn’t have been taken seriously and if I had been belittled before approaching a doctor about it I probably wouldn’t have gotten as far as I have now in the process.
Very few FDA oral meds contain gluten and if they do must state so on the box.
Best to find the meds you think will work then check if they have gluten.
Also if your doc is aware of your coeliac they shouldn’t be prescribing you things with gluten.
That sounds like an awful situation you had to experience. I would recommend you search for an independent therapist in your area that specialises in ADHD.
They will be better able to be detached from the situation and be able to help you with any problems these events have caused you.
It is also worth looking into speaking to an organisation in your area that specialises in arranging work place adjustments for your conditions as they will be able to help you navigate the legalities behind workplace discrimination.
I mention this as disclosing a disability can result in traumatic events as you have experienced. Knowing your rights will help you make informed decisions on when to disclose, who to and how to ensure your best interest are accounted for.
Everyone can have random slip of the tongue moments. However there are conditions like ‘Oral dyspraxia’ which can range in severity. For you I would look up phonological semantic paraphasia link here:
Might be worth looking at to see if you feel you fit any of the criteria, there are more sever levels where children would have needed speech therapy up to adults where it happens occasionaly.
I actually find a lot of doctors like this anyway. Way before having any ADHD / ASD assessments, I found a lump and it took 2 years and it growing and becoming very painful before the collective they of my doctors did anything, it turned out to be sinister but sorted just in time.
I have only found one doctor who really listened and acted swiftly, unfortunately you really do have to be your own advocate these days.
My psychologist friend gets their clients to do this.
Make two lists of your accomplishments over the last 7 year:
One personal (jobs hobbies, paying off the credit card ect)
Second as a couple (moving in, holidays exc)
Then you need to make a list or mind map of things you want to achieve for both.
Then show her the achievements and ask her to do the same thing.
Then both show hopes for the future together.
This is designed to start a positive discussion and if you have her points written down its harder to forget or misunderstand what she had enjoyed or what she wants in the future.
This gives you both the chance to talk through your goals and see if you both want the same things in family life and professional goals.
If a relationship is to be saved you both have to work on it. Pick one of the goals you both want even if it is just to paint the living room walls and do it together.
You said she thinks follow through for you is a problem, by doing the above you can show you can get things done together and start a new system where you both know what your working towards and take it one step at a time together.May 12, 2020 at 2:03 pm in reply to: Narrowed interests, – difficulty engaging and motivating son! Advice please. #171692
One of my cousins high functioning ASD also obsessed with Minecraft.
They are using it to home school, not by playing the game but for example in creative writing saying they can use characters/items/events that have happened in game to write there own story and the same with art, say draw the dog but in the Minecraft world ect.
Then continuing the tasks away from the minecraft theme by highlighting part of the writing that was good or needed improvement either spelling or grammar and teaching from there.
In terms of getting her completely away from narrowed focus it depended on we were trying to get her involved in, for example her sister wanted to go to archery lessons so to get her excited about it was watched brave and some other interesting videos on the history of archery on youtube. The more excited we were as a group the more interest she took.
What would you like during lockdown for your son to do as all his physical/social things are on hiatus?May 10, 2020 at 9:06 am in reply to: I need help – my husband cheated during the pandemic and left my children and I #171552
I am just wondering why do you want him to come back? You have said you want to end the marriage and it seems like from what you have said he has done this before, if he came back how likely are you to fall back to old habits?
Only you can say what is best for you and the kids but think hard about what you want and stick to tour decision.
Personally I would only have him meet you and the kids on neutral territory while you both argue out your future and any divorce type things.
He has chosen to leave the family home, kids and you. He has done it before and he expects that you will let him do it again.
Take care of yourself.
Has he said that he he finds it embarrassing and that he wants to improve this area of himself?
I only ask because its hard to help people if they don’t want the help.
It would be useful for him to look back and identify when he does it most; i.e if its when he is in a hyper state and talking rapidly or if its a constant occurrence maybe there is a working memory problem or is there other underlying condition affecting him.
The only way to get idioms right is to look up there meanings and sit there and practice using them which you could do with him I suppose. But he could know them perfectly and still have a problem using them in certain situations because of the ADHD.March 10, 2020 at 4:57 pm in reply to: Looking for a smart watch so I can put my phone down… #144535
I didn’t want a smart watch but I use a really basic one that was given to me called mi band 3 from xiaomi which is really cheap and does all the notifications I need without being distracting or bulky.
I think the newest model is the mi band 4 and is $35 on amazon. There is a bigger version that is more the shape of the apple watch too.
My friend got these to see if they wanted to invest in a more expensive watch. She ended up getting a more expensive one but came back to the mi band because it was so simple.
What I most like about it is I can use it as a vibrating alarm without any sound as I hate noisy alarm clocks!
But I would suggest having a look at some websites like techradar and wearable to get an idea of all the different things the watches can do.
March 9, 2020 at 9:43 am in reply to: Can anyone recommend someone for private diagnosis in the Uk? #144326
- This reply was modified 1 year, 7 months ago by ryoto.
I don’t know if they do official diagnosis, and I know you said you wanted a coach however this counselling group GroOops is specifically for people with people with dyslexia and associated neurological conditions such as ADHD Autism OCD ect.
There link is:
They have a enter in North London buy also offer Skype appointments.
They also have a lot of different counsellors for different price bands.
I have had appointments with the main counsellor Penny because when I looked her up I really liked all of her experience and training.
They really know their stuff and I honestly think its a really good service.
I would highly recommend contacting them as they are extremely helpful and of they aren’t the right fit might be able to point you in the right direction.
I am unsure if you are going to go the private or NHS route, either way make a list of symptoms you and your son have from this website and take them to the GP as soon as possible because in some places in England the wait for an ADHD assessment is 6 years for an adult. (I was quoted this but got it in 6 months because I had waited a year for an autism assessment first)
Keep a dated and times diary of things he does that are abusive or would be negative to an impressionable child. Keep it factual and quote anything your child says/does in response also.
If you apply for sole custody use it as evidence of why you don’t want unregulated contact between him and her.
But stress you are willing and encourage for him to have supervised contact at a contact centre or in the presence of a support worker or similar.
Just try to keep as calm as you can when around him, but also show your daughter it is good to embrace any sad/angry/confused feelings in a productive way. If she is angry and shouts when calmed down a bit get her to draw out the frustration and talk to her while she is focused on something else.
Conversely all the girls I know with ADHD are straight.
Don’t forget ADHD can go unnoticed in girls at school and many get diagnosed later when other symptoms like depression cause problems.
Focus on your kids and yourself don’t worry about trusting other people yet.
ADHD ect runs in family’s so now you know the signs you will be able to help your kids should anything arise with them.
Don’t forget his behaviour will have affected them as much as you even if he was never abusive to them they may later on mirror his behaviour towards you. This happened with my cousin her daughter treated her mother the way the abusive father did.
I hope your divorce goes without too much trauma and it will help you both get some perspective.
Sometimes being to close to someone makes it easy to ignore minor things that would be considered red flags to others. A prime example is parents refusing to acknowledge ADHD/Autism/dyslexia in there kids!
Just focus on yourself, you have decided to leave him and though he may always be in your life for the kids doesn’t mean he has to affect you for the rest of your life.