My Forum Comments
I do the same: I have become much more aware of my impulsivity than I used to and now I try not to jump into actions and words. When an idea comes to my mind, I give it at least two days of thought. I also ask my wife whether it is sensible, whether it fits the local culture. Very important: I ask myself whether I benefit from that idea or words.
Quite often, I feel I have to say or do something because it is correct and makes sense and it is necessary and if I don’t do it nobody will – without even thinking if people around me will appreciate it – and without even thinking whether it will benefit the proponent, that is, me.
This may sound strange, and I don’t know if others relate to it, but being impulsive together with being “ethics perfectionist” sometimes leads me to make things agains my own interest and which might not even be desired or appreciated by others. So, I would recommend actually being a bit more selfish – I know, it sounds a strange thing to recommend, but in the context of ADHD, it makes sense.
I aggree with you! It is important to communicate and to have a balance in the distribution of the work load and of the mental load. I even suggest relying on comparative advantage when distributing tasks!
I agree with you: when “fighting” for a cause, quite often it is better in many ways to use communication and try that other people understand rather than actually fighting them.
Toomanytabs: I aggree: I believe that a woman with ADHD may not as easily as a man defer responsibility for mental load – but I wish anyone with ADHD could transfer that responsibility, and get some other responsibilities in order to keep the distribution of responsibilities balanced. Yes: we have also that responsibililty: to seek treatment – the problem there is that it is difficult – my example: living in a country where only two different ADHD meds are available. Basic fairness: I totally aggree!
Gentlygenli: there’s so much I aggree with you! “Consciously recognize all duties and explicitly divide or share them” + set a time in a shared calendar for doing the tasks that tend not to be done: absolutely!
Thank you for your comments!
Hey kakowskey! Stop that negativity NOW!!! You are aware now of so many things that you will be able to improve your health!
Dear friends, thank you for your input!
newtoadhd: I do agree with you, but I also agree with bec1124 and I don’t really see so much conflict between these two views: feminism and “whatever works”. When there is ADHD in the family, some accommodations might be needed, and that might mean that someone will get more than the “fair amount” of the mental load, and the one who gets it maybe the woman *or the man* (I am in the context of a man-woman couple because that is the context I am in). I do agree with bec1124 in the sense that trying to put rigidly into practice an ideology might not work for anyone. But I do aggree with feminism, etc.. It’s like the same with democracy: democracy works when there is more to politics than just elections… Feminism works when there is more to family life rules than just 50% – 50% division of labor…
I am thankful for cloudbreaks input, even though I have learnt to be more soft with people I disagree with, and specially when I am not even sure whether there is indeed any disagreement.
MrNeutron: I cannot really agree with anything you say because it seems to me that you and I do not agree on the basic facts. If two people disagree on the basic facts, I don’t think there can be much convergence of opinions. And I am sorry to say, but this thing of citing some book and, then, that’s it “here is an argument” doesn’t make any sense to me because there are books and books, some are good, others are bad, some are scientifically up-to-date, some are just a-historical and non-scientific speculation. Books that easily mix normative and positive aspects of history or some science without telling the difference are usually not really recommendable.
Dear cakesnpies, thank you for your kind words! They made my day! I hope everything is going smoothly now at your workplace!
I’m feelin soooooooo jealous! In the country where I live, there are only two options: Strattera, and Concerta. And that’s it. I have tried Strattera: it helped a lot but not greatly: I still had all or most of the symptoms, but they were less intense. Being aware of the problem in the first place helps too! In my case, a lot of anxiety came directly from missing deadline after deadline. If ADD can be controlled, there will be less of motives for anxiety. I have started taking Concerta 18mg in June, there was no effect. I am now almost completing two weeks with Concerta 36mg: it might have worked just a little bit. As of now, it seems to me that Concerta 36mg may be slightly less effective than Strattera 100mg. But I will be seing my doctor on Monday!
You didn’t do anything wrong, they were unfair with you, and the attitude of your co-worker saying “just make sure you don’t do it again” was humiliating, patronizing, unnecessary, unconstructive, and showing an absolute lack of humanity and sympathy. You are right to feel angry, and a subject of unfairness.
HOWEVER my advice is this: don’t stick to the (appropriate) feeling of anger because it will not do you any good. Also remember that even though this whole situation is unfair to you, from a strict legalist point-of-view it may very well be that you don’t have the law on your side. So, my second advice is to remember that in adult life (perhaps also in childhood) we have sometimes to swallow a bit of unfairness in order to be allowed to carry on with our lives, and jobs.
I am sorry to know about this situation, but it happens so many times to good people with ADD and good people without ADD. You supposedly break some rule, and this is used against you sometimes in full extent, not because enforcing the rule was so important in the first place, but because breaking the rule gave to those ridiculous dictatores some extra power to exert on you, while “having the law” on their side.
Life goes one!
Hi ADHDmomma and MessMom! Thank you very much for your suggestions! I have just created a Pinterest account. I am grateful for this suggestion: cooking and storing in the freezer. I had never really thought about doing it, but it is actually the case that, in general, I tend to cook too much, and a lot goes to waste because it is either not stored in the right way, or the leftovers are not sufficient for one meal. So, I will be cooking a little larger amounts, so the leftovers are sufficient for one or two meals.
I am also grateful to know that microwave dinners are not really something I should stress that much about!
Does he get the most appropriate medication for him, at the most adequate dosage? If yes, as he started behavioral therapy?
Are you sure you are taking the right medication and its right dosage for you?