It's A New Day

My Forum Comments

Viewing 3 posts - 16 through 18 (of 18 total)
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  • in reply to: marriage struggling #142577
    It’s A New Day
    Participant

    Hi Hope,
    I’m sorry it has taken me so long to respond. With so many thoughts running through my mind, I have to write everything down first. Now I know why, lol.
    Since my last post, my wife and I have been trying to sweep up the “eggshells “. With each day, I strive to be more aware of my actions and reactions. I applaud my wife for being cautiously understanding. We have been using humor as much as possible when I take a step backwards. She is more aware when i am frustrated and keeps the mood on the lighter side. I thank her forthat. I hope this continues to work for us. I don’t want to “suck her back in” again. This new self awareness drives me to be a better husband, father, and person. I can’t put into words the internal joy I have been feeling.
    Along with professional therapy,these forums and this website, I know I will continue to move in the right direction.
    I would like to thank you and all for your continuous input. Please tell your spouses/partners in denial, they are not just denying themselves, but just as importantly, you, the person who loves them, of a chance for a better, happier life. Correct me if I’m wrong, but you wouldn’t still be there if you didn’t love them or care deeply for them. I was served with divorce papers a year ago. I was devastated. I begged and pleaded for ANOTHER chance (I’m sure you’ve heard that one before). We looked at many apts and houses for new. Fortunately, none of them worked out. Fast forward, I am forever humbled and am trying my best to rebuild my marriage. This is not a death sentence, but the quite the opposite. It’s a chance at a new way of thinking and life! With that being said, I’m asking the non-ADHD spouses/partners, what can I do to start mending the heart I have so badly broken? What would bring joy back into your life?

    in reply to: marriage struggling #141248
    It’s A New Day
    Participant

    Congratulations on your husband’s baby steps. If he does have ADHD, and is honest with himself, he will be overwhelmed to see a near exact description of his life with ADHD, as well as yours, through ADDitudes.com.
    ADHD has always been for me, a sarcastic jab, or joke at or about someone with excessive energy, can’t sit still, or always on the go. I now understand the seriousness of this illness and the damage it can do. Especially to a marriage and family.
    If he does get diagnosed with ADHD,I hope you will be patient and understanding should he choose to seek help.I know this will hard to do given all the pain, anger and frustration you go through on a daily basis. He will need your support. Trust me!
    I am worried I have done too much damage to my marriage to save it I don’t know how my wife could ever forgive, or understand, or be patient, anymore. I don’t even have the courage to ask. After all,I must take responsibility for my actions and not use ADHD as a lifelong excuse. Easier said than done.
    I find it ironic that I am opening up to a world of complete strangers, so easily, yet find it so hard to share this with my own wife. Maybe that’s part of the illness. I don’t know. I hope I have the strength to share this with her as I feel so alone (one of those “not so good” emotions I mentioned previously).
    I have shared my diagnosis work no one except my wife. For now, I will keep it that way until I figure out if I need to, or should share.
    I subscribe to no social media sites. I don’t even have a Facebook page! This is actually the first time I have ever responded to anything on the internet, and I want to thank you for your initial posting. Sharing is therapeutic.

    in reply to: marriage struggling #141166
    It’s A New Day
    Participant

    I have been married 32years and you have just described my marriage. In an effort to save my marriage, at my wife’s insistence, I went by myself for what I thought would be marriage counseling. One year and three therapists later, I was diagnosed with ADHD. This was last week.I cannot tell you what a rollercoaster of emotions I have gone through since then. Some good, some not so good. My therapist suggested I visit ADDitude.com. Finally I have discovered answers and reasons for all the things I thought were “wrong” with me. And equally as important, the hell I have put my wife through all these years. I encourage your husband to at least go on this website and to be totally honest with what he is all about. I’m not sure what path of treatment I will take, and I don’t know if it will save my marriage, it will save me! P S I was brought up by parents who believed any type of therapy was for crazy people. I wish I had known better than to listen to such nonsense.

Viewing 3 posts - 16 through 18 (of 18 total)