ADDmom

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  • in reply to: How does ADD change as you get older? #50263
    ADDmom
    Participant

    Oh my goodness. Your daughter sounds like my son! I wish my son would have known earlier that that’s what he wants to do and accepted his talents and weaknesses sooner. He didn’t need to fail so many times for so many years before having the guts to be honest with himsef! We always supported him in everything he wanted to do, even advising him that Comp Sci might be too hard for him at this school. He loves music and plays piano beautifully and we always urged him to pursue music but he thought we weren’t serious! Gah! All those years of his suffering and feeling inadequate for struggling made his self-esteem suffer. I feel so bad for him and his never ending turmoil.

    Thanks for the links. I’ll forward them to him too. Maybe he’ll realize that ADD is not the end of the world and it’s time for him to accept it and optimize his special ways his brain works.

    in reply to: How does ADD change as you get older? #50261
    ADDmom
    Participant

    Napkinorigami,
    Thank you very much for sharing your experience.
    I can’t imagine living in this chaotic world with a special “brain.” I wish we lived in slower and calmer lives so he could function better at his own pace but that, too, can be problematic because of his “time-blindness.” His younger life – before college – was definitely more structured so he, we, didn’t recognize his needs. But on a profound level, I instinctively knew he needed a different environment in elementary school but didn’t know that the reason was because of ADD. His teachers thought he was “too smart” and was always bored, which made him do this own thing, like reading a book under the desk in boring classes. I felt he needed a smaller classroom where he could focus better so he went from a class size of 27 at a public school to a private school with 12 students with teachers who paid attention to ALL students and not just those who needed help. He did better academically at the smaller private school and enjoyed playing sports but we all missed the symptoms because he excelled academically and playing sports. So the formal diagnosis didn’t happen until he was ‘free to roam’ but couldn’t manage in college.

    He was working with an ADD coach in college but that didn’t help him. They just concentrated on how to schedule things for school but not for general daily living things and didn’t help in managing his time or prioritizing. He went to several Psychologists but mainly to get clearance to return to school (he took medical leaves each time he left so he needed a therapist’s clearance to return to school.) Finally, he went to a Psychiatrist to get on meds and he said he tried Concerta this past semester but it made him sick. He threw them out because of the side effects. Oy. Had he told me about the side effects, I would have told him to go back to get a different prescription or a different dose. Again, not analyzing properly to get to the result he needed. Seems to be one of his worst symptoms.

    I would like to take him back to a Psychologist, as a family, and go with him. He has been lying about things and I don’t trust that he’s getting counseling for ADD but just general anxiety. It might not matter as long as he’s getting counseling but I really think he needs to get specific help for ADD, otherwise, he won’t understand why he’s feeling this way or why he’s failing at certain things in life or why he feels he has to lie, etc…which are all related to ADD. Little lies lead to big lies and he needs to be honest to himself and to others. When I confront him about his lying, he knows all the reasons why he shouldn’t but he does it anyway and doesn’t think deeply about the consequences.

    Sorry about the long reply but I want to make sure I’m on the right track and needs to understand more about ADD. And to help him understand.

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