My Forum Comments
Still not perfect I work on a farm so often have trouble seeing screen in light of losing the to do list. Right now have the main lists office /farm . errands in office on paper then take camera photos to take with me
Still npoy perfect work on a farm so often have trouble seeing screen in light of losing the to do list. Right now have the main lists office /farm . errands in office on paper then take camera photos to take with me
Can only speak for myself and I am still not onto of it . I blame the nature of the beast that is ADHD. I think I have a fear of success! This I suspect is due to an underlying paradoxical fear of failure. Although I am highly capable I know that if I do really well then people will have higher expectations I also know form brutal post experience that I have the ability to suddenly screw things up at any time and let everybody down.
All good ideas above so I will just add 3
Try study first thing in the morning doing so at night maybe affected by rebound from medication.
Ensure that do not have an associated learning disability ( mine is limited short term memory )that you need to work around.
My favourite is to have a pen or highlighter in hand writing as I read helped keep me focussed. With the advent of highlighters I used a yellow one to highlight important information. The second reading I used an orange one to highlight “lists” of points. And the third time a pink one give shape to the big picture. I would then review with a biro numbering informal lists or questions that have popped up. (Using my hands keeps me engaged with the work but does not do much for the resale value of the books)
Really feel for you! Someone needs to get inside her head and work out what is going on. But how? Does she have a good relationship with anyone who she trusts and respect? Are there any psychologists in the area who have a reputation for treating ODD ?
Yes she has ADHD ,ODD and the trauma of a divorce; but is there anything else going on ? Bullying? sexual interference? etc Sometimes we get blinkered because we already have a multitude of explanations for behaviour patterns.
Lastly this is something you’ve walked in on, this is a responsibility that should be owned primarily by her mother and father. Just my opinion but your workload in this should definitely be less than 33 % of the total.
Kids with ODD have a real risk of transition to Conduct disorders At 9 this could be a matter of urgency and you can’t do this by yourself!
Although I am a retired GP I have no special expertise in this area nor an intimate understanding of this case so please treat my thoughts as just that.They could well be wide of thew mark, if so my apololgiesApril 4, 2018 at 3:42 am in reply to: Little patience with other drivers…other shoppers, etc. #80833
I’m the same but I find life goes better if I do some of the following! appreciate that ADHD leads to extreme impatience Iry not to own the feeling see it as an alien part of my brain that owns the emotion not me. Second I find it helps to pretend that other cars are just environmental hazards like a slippery road after rain. It is all about them they are NOT OUT TO GET ME! Mind you this does not work as well if I am in a heightened emotional state before driving or late.
Nudging 70 and still the same old urges when I see another bright shiny bauble. It doesn’t get better, my time is now my own but it got worse done to increased free time. I found it was a good idea when I saw another bright shiny hobby etc was to find the cheapest approach (financial and time) Borrowing, hiring, buying 2nd hand etc where ever possible while waiting to see it my interest is sustained. The other strategy i have is to be brutally honest about who I am verses the skills,personality traits and deficits I need to have to do well. Joining a club if possible to see what type of people get the most satisfaction from this endeavour. Despite all this I still end up chasing a lot of wild geese.
I really feel for you, Yes we can say and do things that come out the wrong way. It is often hard to read other peoples emotions . something we have in common with Asberger’s Syndrome. In my own instance floating through life in a fog I found that my family was rife with narcissistic personality defects and I was none the wiser. This gives a double whammy because as well being scapegoated they’re able to place the most negative view imaginable on my gaffs. Not saying that this is what is happening here but it may be some thing other than ADHD that is the issue. I agree with every one else here find a good doctor get the diagnosis and then try and get your kids to meet with your doctor in necessary to . Just keep being there for your kids ,in the mean time, and make sure they know that.
Not so far, but I’m only 70 🙂
Hi I am 67 years old with ADHDand short term memory deficit I continue to struggle with appointments etc.
I still divide my life into “Muddle though” days,” Struggle through” days and finally”Stay under the Doona” days.
two suggestions that might help
! Find some really enjoyable books and work to be 30 minutes early for all appointments, (the better the book the better it works!!)
2 More importantly, be kind to yourself
Could I suggest that you seek counselling for your selves on the best approach to help your ODD son build rational decision making skills and how to work around his tendency to ODD then be there to support him in his choices. You can then certainly offer your input but as only as another viewpoint to be taken into consideration
My daughter had the same combination and although slow and frustrating I found long term this approach has paid dividends. I admit I still have to bite my lip a fair bit.