My Forum Comments
What’s the situation with his father?
I don’t believe that mental illness just happens. Their are studies that correlate ADHD behaivior to a specific lack of parenting. My question was directed to men, but I have yet to see a man answer the question. There is no mention of disbanding the family unit on purpose, it’s quite the opposite. The point is that society and the family unit have radically changed over time, and correspondingly there’s been a dramatic increase in mental illness. I want to know the why. I’m questioning the idea of, I’m sick, there is something wrong with me, I need to be medicated. I’m not putting the blame on anyone, because there are factors that are beyond our control in today’s society that affect everyone in different ways.
I’m sorry if this question is again being misunderstood.
I’m sorry you misunderstood, it has to do with human history and the roles we play.
This might better explain what I’m trying to convey.
The Family Unit during Roman times.
Few understand that the family unit is the basic building block of every thriving society. Within the family, young minds are first taught the importance of building character, controlling one’s emotions, setting worthwhile goals, striving for excellence—or at least this should be the case, as it was generations ago.
At the start of the Roman Empire, fathers took seriously their role in properly instructing, training and educating their sons, and mothers taught their daughters as well. The example of strong and active parents daily ingrained into children the importance of obedience, deference to civic authority and respect for the laws of the land.
But as new generations came of age, the family weakened and fractured. Husbands and wives gave in to the pulls of human nature to engage in widespread adultery, inevitably leading to increasing rates of broken marriages. Divorce for virtually any reason became legal; wives only had to say to their husbands three times in succession, “I divorce you!” to bring it to pass.
Also, parents came to spoil their children, who then grew up to become lazy adults who were irreverent, disobedient to authority and had little respect for the elderly or the “old paths” of social norms and values.
Likewise, the family unit in America, Britain, Australia, Canada and other sister nations of the West is under constant assault. Broken marriages and fractured households are now the norm.
Few fathers exercise a strong hand in teaching, guiding and correcting their young, often leaving mothers to fill both parental roles.
I don’t think that mixing the genders together is a good idea, if that’s what I’ve been reading above. It creates a lack of identity in both men and women, and that causes confusion and conflict. The roles of men and women are being blurred these days, when they should be complimenting each other.
I’d like to know from men, if anything sounds true in these excerpts from -King Warrior Magician Lover by Robert Moore & Douglass Gilette
The crisis in masculine the maturity is very much upon us. Lacking adequate models of mature men, and lacking
the societal cohesion and institutional structures for actualizing ritual process, it’s “every man for himself.” And
most of us fall by the way side, with no idea what it was that was the goal of our gender-drive or what went wrong
in our strivings. We just know we are anxious, on the verge of feeling impotent, helpless, frustrated, put down,
unloved and unappreciated, often ashamed of being masculine. … Many of us seek the generative, affirming, and
empowering father (though most of us don’t know it), the father who, for most of us, never existed in our actual
lives and won’t appear, no matter how hard we try to make him appear.
Because there is little or no ritual process … capable of boosting us from Boy psychology to Man psychology, we must
each go on our own (with each other’s help and support) to the deep sources of masculine energy potentials that lie
within us all. We must find a way of connecting with these sources of empowerment.
I’ve heard many times about how people with ADHD feel like they have created a false sense of self. Like they really can’t feel who they are inside, so they may have to adopt a personality trait from someone else, or make one up so that they don’t feel invisible or lost.
Does that seem familiar?
What about low self-esteem?
If you look back at some of your life experiences, do you recall feeling like you were not as good as others or that there was something wrong with you? Or maybe you lacked confidence in achieving things. That you were undeserving of something, or were unlovable?
Couldn’t low self-esteem be at the root of many, if not all of your social anxieties and fear?
Is his Father around, or is he out of the picture?
Question for anyone.
Doesn’t the anxiety generate a excess of worried thoughts, which then go on to cause poor focus, or distractibility?
I believe my experience is similar. It’s like you have a switch connected to your mood. It’s on for a while and you feel social, then it turns off and you’re not. There’s not much of a middle ground. For myself, I think there always was an underlying feeling that something is missing during a social period. Like I didn’t or couldn’t quite connect with those people. Or they didn’t respond to me in the way that I think they should have. Then the anti-social feelings kick in after a period of time.
May 25, 2017 at 12:31 pm in reply to: Newly Diagnosed-Question about a Comment from Testing #50287
5wheel, can you tell me which medication and the dosage that worked for you?
I think that a lot of people including myself, had depression when we were young and it manifested as a lack of energy. It’s difficult to remember back so far, but I did have a general feeling of malaise and apathy that continues to this day. My Mother was very much that way. She was lethargic, depressed, moody, couldn’t complete some tasks, and ran late most of the time. I believe that depression led to my anxiety. I had a feeling of not quite being able to keep up with people or events. A feeling of not being in the loop of things or left behind, which made me nervous.
Anxiety often runs in the background, almost unnoticed if you’ve had it for long enough periods. It can be draining and obviously energy depleting.
Generalized anxiety can cause physical symptoms, such as muscle tension or pain, headaches, nausea, and trembling. If you tend to worry a lot, that’s a good indication of anxiety. If you’ve been able to suppress it most of the time, you can even fool yourself into believing that it’s not a problem because it feels so normal.
Francesca, please read this.
Stress, Anxiety, and Irritable Bowel Syndrome http://www.webmd.com/ibs/irritable-bowel-with-diarrhea-16/ibs-d-stress
It’s not entirely clear how stress, anxiety, and irritable bowel syndrome are related — or which one comes first — but studies show they can happen together.
When a doctor talks to people with this digestive disorder, “what you find is that about 60% of IBS patients will meet the criteria for one or more psychiatric disorders,” says Edward Blanchard, PhD, professor of psychology at the State University of New York at Albany.
The most common mental ailment people with irritable bowel syndrome have is generalized anxiety disorder, Blanchard says. He thinks more than 60% of IBS patients with a psychiatric illness have that type of anxiety. Another 20% have depression, and the rest have other disorders.
Regardless of whether they have irritable bowel syndrome, people with anxiety tend to worry greatly about issues such as health, money, or careers. Other symptoms include upset stomach, trembling, muscle aches, insomnia, dizziness, and irritability.
There are several theories about the connection between IBS, stress, and anxiety:
Although psychological problems like anxiety don’t cause irritable bowel syndrome, people with the digestive disorder may be more sensitive to emotional troubles.
Stress and anxiety may make the mind more aware of spasms in the colon.
IBS may be triggered by the immune system, which is affected by stress.