My Forum Comments
If I may ask how do you deal with the pressures of being an attorney? I’m doing my law degree now and working in a legal field. I was recently offered aticleship (basically apprentice attorney in South Africa) with a private firm. I would take a 60% salary cut but it would be my entry into the legal profession. This is a tremendous opportunity since law firms normally only approach top students.
The problems that I’m having is that my attention to detail is very poor so if I was to miss something important it could cost the firm (and client) a lot of money.
Secondly (thanks to anxiety) I find it difficult to answer questions that I could not prepare for properly first. So my fear is, what happens if I am in court and get questioned by the magistrate or judge and I freeze up. Again it may have huge financial consequences for the client and the firm.
Where I work now, my mistakes don’t have such hectic consequences so I was wondering if you have those issues, how do you deal with them?
Btw I get your “importance line.”. For me it’s urgency. Anything that is urgent is automatically important and therefore above the line. Everything else waits until it becomes urgent.
Thank you very much for the advice 🙂 I really appreciate it.
“Especially with those folks who say, “Yeah, I’m forgetful too… maybe I have ADD.” All I know is this is the way my brain works.”
My wife had the same attitude until I took her through the ADHD test. She scored 35% so I told her that that was the fundamental difference. She has some of the symptoms some of the time, I have most of the symptoms all of the time. It gave her a better understanding of me.
Some additional info, yes I have massive mommy issues lol This is because my mother died when I was 2. Did the therapy thing. I have no doubt that she is not malicious. She is not an overly sympathetic person, but I know that 13 years ago when we started dating. She believes that if she can do it then everyone can.
Yes, my wife does sometimes take the role of my mother and I heard “I’m not your frikkin mother” many many times lol. BUT, she does support me, very very much. This morning (4:30am) I was trying to study and she again came to me and told me that she can see I’m struggling and that she is very proud of me for not giving up and trying that hard. And she had coffee :))))
So no, she doesnt understand me all the time but she is the extra motivation that I need when things get tough and she is the soft shoulder I need when it all gets too much.
truthsquire2017 you are an inspiration to me. I still dont know if I actually want to practice law but you have given me inspiration to finish my degree.
My wife is an overachiever. She has days where she cant concentrate but generally she can sit down and work/study for hours, even when it is something she really doesnt want to do. Then she gets 75% in exams and has them remark her paper cause there is no way she could not have gotten 80% lol Not to take anything away from her, she works really hard.
She does understand me (in a way), She tries to help and give advice, which I love her dearly for.
Thank you so much for the replies.
Coffee or energy drinks may keep you up all night, but almost certainly you will not have the same sense of focus and purpose. Yes I have noticed this.
I’ve been living with this brain my whole life (lol) so to me this was normal and is all I know so I believed that I was a slacker because that is what other people said about me. Even my wife would tell me I don’t work hard enough right up to the point where I got tested she told the psychologist that even though I may have ADHD, there are times when I’m genuinely just lazy and don’t try hard enough. I will admit that there are times when I refused to study or work, like 7am on a Sunday morning. I mean everyone gets a 2-day weekend so why should I work 7 days a week just because she is an overachiever with the drive of 100 horses. Anyway, I gave up so now I work or study most of the weekend as well.
Yesterday we had a massive fight about my studies because I’m in the last year of my law degree (which is the top priority for her) and I’m also doing an undergraduate level course for work (which is shiny and new so is the priority for me). She felt that I should be concentrating on my law degree as my exams are and of May and I felt that I should be concentrating on the other course as my exam is a week earlier.
The compromise? I’ll work on my law degree in the morning before work and on the other qualification in the evenings after work.
For two days in a row now everyone has been allowed to leave work early due to protest action (and possible violence) and I volunteered to stay and even work late, just to show I’m not frikkin lazy.
I wish I could have a neurotypical brain, just for one day, just to see what it feels like.
If I sound like I’m feeling sorry for myself, it’s because I am … just a little bit lol
I was diagnosed two months ago so I’m still pretty lost and confused about all of this. I had my first session with an educational psychologist, who specializes in adults with ADHD, last month. Seeing her once a month.
No sorry, not liquid meds. I’m on 40mg Ritalin LA with 10mg methylphenidate as top ups when needed.
We are going on vacation next week and I considered not taking the meds but it’s sort of a working vacation as we both have to prepare for exams.
The one difference I’ve found with the meds is that I have much more drive. Where I usually either played games or surfed the net or just shuffled from one thing to another, I can now sit down and work on my work stuff or my studies. Unless the internet interrupts lol
Maybe I should take a week off after my exams and not take the meds.
I know how that feels. I have had 4 different jobs (with the same employer) in the last 15 years. However, there have been at least 50 times that I have stood with my resignation letter in my hand. The last time was last December where I told my wife (I’m quitting, there is nothing you can do to stop me and if you want to divorce me that is fine too”. I didn’t quit because my wife flat-out refused to maintain me and we would have had to move to a much smaller place. I came up with all sorts of solutions like I can start a photography business (which I did part-time before but never got off the ground) AND I could also do free-ance consultancy work AND I can do art again.
I have no shame in admitting that she is the dominant one in our relationship so she made me sit down and we looked at our finances and all the options and then she asked two questions that I couldnt answer. 1 … “How long before you get tired of that?” and 2 … “What do we do then?”
Instead of quitting I went to see a specialist and got tested. Turned out I have ADHD and dyslexia and got treatment. So, for now, I’m sticking to my job. It’s not like I don’t crave to do my own thing but she can be very convincing so… What I do know though is without her I would have been living under a bridge right now so I’ve learned to listen to her instead of my own brain when it comes to these things.
I don’t know if this helps you. I do hope you find a solution that works for both of you though.
Hmm something I haven’t tried yet, mainly cause I don’t have the patience but maybe I should start out small?
Hi Rebel90 🙂
Thank you very much for the encouraging words.
It is awesome that you are doing so great 🙂 and congrats on your daughter 😀
I am in a similar position. I’m a final year law student and working in a professional legal environment.
I have been diagnosed with ADHD a few months ago and finally went to see an education psychologist last week. She told me that I need to find a way to center myself in order to re-align with the true me. My response was that I have no idea who that is.
As far as “not working hard enough” I’ve been called lazy so many times in my life that the word has gotten an extremely negative meaning. I got a new manager last year who point blank told me that she doesn’t think there are other issues, that I have a reputation for being lazy and that she thinks that is all that is wrong because the amount of work that I do does not equate to the number of hours that I say I work. I must state that I have also been diagnosed with dyslexia and I read significantly slower than the average person. In the legal field, you will know how problematic that is.
The good thing is that it forced me to get diagnosed but now I am so intent on proving that I am not lazy that I work late instead of exercising and I work most of the time over weekends as well. If I’m not working I’m studying.
I don’t know when the guilt will go away, but I do hope you find a way to deal with it that works for you.
I was Concerta36 for a month and “snappy, frustrated with everything and annoyed” is exactly how my wife described me. I chalked it up to work stress but since I’ve been on Ritalin it seems to be more tolerable and the Ritalin works better for me than the Concerta.
I took Concerta36 for a month but went of it cause my wife was complaining that I’m moody and short tempered. I take Ritalin now which works much better.
Does anyone know what the law is in South Africa?
I have several hobbies lol Archery has been put on the back burner for now. Photography has stopped. I wrote 5 short stories before I stopped that. Recently it was drawing. Mostly my hobby is researching new hobbies lol