mom_of_3

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  • in reply to: My kids and I need help #69748
    mom_of_3
    Participant

    Thank you all so much for the pep talk and making me feel like I wasn’t alone and crazy. It’s hard work being a parent and having a child with ADHD makes some days a bit harder. To see our children happy is all that matters and I just have to remember on the challenging days that one day it will miss all of this.

    Today was a hard, yet good day. I became a single mom shortly after his 4th birthday. His dad was “involved” but not anywhere close to what he should have been. I have been dealing with ADHD and epilepsy pretty much by myself for 10+ years. His dad has fought me on everything and refused ADHD testing, then meds, then 504, etc. He’s an RN and seems to think he knows more than Doctors. He did not attend Doctors appointments for the past 10 years or involve himself in schooling. Last year his new wife convinced him that my sons struggles in school were because of me. We were in a year long custody battle and I finally gave in and basically allowed him to have our son during most school days. I pushed for Special Ed testing just like I fought him on everything to ensure my son was taken care of. Today we met with the school and he qualified for an IEP. I am so ecstatic that he will have more help at school and that his stress will be lowered. I know these will be great changes for him and he will excel. The meeting was hard because I was made to feel like an outsider because for the first time in 11 years I am not managing all his schooling. But, I kept reminding myself that he wouldn’t have this chance to succeed and find his self confidence if I didn’t stand up to his dad and keep fighting for what I know is best for my son.

    Days like today make me realize that I’ve done great things for him. They can take credit for any improvements seen but my son and I both know who has advocated for him. My heart is breaking because he’s not here everyday and that I was made to feel like an outsider. However, I know the mother I’ve been and I am proud of myself for carrying the load I have for 11 years. While it was a tough day this IEP and the changes coming is what I needed to make me realize that I’m not so bad after all. Thank you all for keeping my spirits up while beating myself up and waiting for this meeting. I love this site and the incredible articles, advice, etc.

    in reply to: My kids and I need help #69596
    mom_of_3
    Participant

    Jen,

    Thank you so much for sharing. I’m glad I’m not the only who knows what this feels like and that others can relate. I try to read a lot of things to better understand what they’re going through and to fix the things I’ve been doing wrong. I am trying to be everything they need but it can be hard. My youngest is the most difficult to help. His dad and I divorced when he was four. His dad is an RN, and his wife is a Nurse Practitioner and they think they know more than myself. We had a custody fight and we settled and agreed he will be with his dad most of the school week because he thought they could do better. He is actually doing worse with grades and his behavior as well. He’s a good kid but he clearly isn’t happy. His dad says everyone has ADD and makes the typical comments about trying harder, when you’re 21 and have nowhere to go don’t come to me. All the things that he shouldn’t be saying. It’s truly heartbreaking. I would love to learn to live in the moment and not stress the days I haven’t yet faced. I would also be excited to get the names of the books you recommend. Thank you AGAIN.
    Mandy

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