Mnemoscat

My Forum Comments

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  • in reply to: Empath wife ADHD husband #137337
    Mnemoscat
    Participant

    Okay, but you strongly implied that it applied to my situation, which upset me quite a bit.
    Also, the OPs partner sounds emotionally abusive, not just poorly matched (and I’ve spent a good part of my past 11+ years reading up on abuse to help process what I experienced).
    I understand you intended no harm, but please be careful about what you assume about others.

    in reply to: Empath wife ADHD husband #137333
    Mnemoscat
    Participant

    Irena RR: He was beating me and gaslighting me while I wss trying to understand his feelings and adapt, but please tell me how it’s partially my fault, cause obviously you know my situation so well.
    I’m pretty damn sure the fault for abusive behavior falls on the abuser, and abuse can and will ruin any marriage, whether it ends it or not.

    in reply to: Empath wife ADHD husband #137329
    Mnemoscat
    Participant

    Irena RR: He was beating me and gaslighting me while I wss trying to understand his feelings and adapt, but please tell me how it’s partially my fault, cause obviously you know my situation so well.
    I’m pretty damn sure the fault for abusive behavior falls on the abuser, and abuse can and will ruin any marriage, whether it ends it or not.

    • This reply was modified 1 year, 5 months ago by Mnemoscat.
    in reply to: Empath wife ADHD husband #137307
    Mnemoscat
    Participant

    For the record, it in no way takes two to destroy a marriage. One person consistently acting without good faith, being emotionally (or otherwise) abusive can do that fairly easily. It takes two people to make a marriage work, and if one of the people involved isn’t trying or is more interested in blame than in making things good for both of them, then no amount of work by the other person will help.
    I think it’s actively toxic to assume it takes two to destroy a marriage, because that relies on the idea that marriages are easy and work on their own if even one person is trying, when actually à good marriage is like singing a good duet: beautiful, satisfying, and impossible if one of the singers refuses to learn the song or is constantly off key.
    This is not your fault OP. You’re doing your best, but one person acting alone in good faith can’t save a relationship. I know; I spent 12 years trying myself.

    • This reply was modified 1 year, 5 months ago by Mnemoscat.
Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)