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  • in reply to: Mom's with ADHD-Who else feels like a failure?? #72439

    Did you try medication. Personnaly I take Strattera that is not a stimulant. I used to get scolded by my boss for not filtering. That’s over. And I don’t feel bad when I say NO to yet another project. Before, I’d say no and then not sleep because I felt guilty.

    in reply to: Finding Your Tribe…Long Post #71870

    I think like you for MY son. But, I think society has to learn to adapt, accept, tolerate, and help others that are different then the group present. In a group of geeks, the jock will be different. In a group of jocks, the person that has trouble explaining himself will be frowned upon, because they’ll have to wait to play until they understand him. In a group of little bosses, the emphatic one that wants to think about it slows them down… The ADHD kid could not take his medication, and learn to say just that, and learn to apologize for his impolite impulsivities, and learn to put himself in time out (calming down period), and the others could help, by learning to dedramatize and learn to give a chance.
    I can control that. I’m a teacher and that’s what I teach. And it works. All kids bring in to real life: strategies to deal with others, self awareness ans acceptance, and thicker skin to ignore annoyances. If I respectfully ask a kid to take a break in the hall, it is not a punishment, it the right thing to do for all to calm down before we can proceed with our work that might involve an adjustment period (discussion). Rules have to be very clear and often written down, including the consequence).
    Those who watch Stranger things will see it. Geeks are often very rigid (not flexible). To avoid rupture, they have specific procedures for different events.
    I don’t think it’s always the different person that only has to adjust.
    But talking to others, we can’t be angry, we have to be accepting and loving.

    in reply to: Finding Your Tribe…Long Post #71690

    I work in a regular school with kid’s with difficulties in Québec. I am medicated. My kids have my difficulties.
    School: I push public school, but what ever school, you need to always be positive and calmly honest, it REALLY works to get help from the school, even if we feel like screaming.
    You need to find the person that can work with kids and your son in your school with the principale’s help (in class, outside, a small group…), on social abilities, role playing, referee a game of soccer (referee for sportsmanship), even talk about intimidation, how you’re happiest, differences, how people change, how to give a chance… And that person, would be the one that would be there on special activity days, not you. It’s the school’s job to teach subjects and team work abilities. They have to teach reality, every body’s different and we need to accept every body and help those who need it. Here, we have special budgets for that kind of work in schools.
    There should be a specific procedure in the school for any kid that act up, so that they would be taken care of, and so that there would be a educative follow up with him, if necessary.

    in reply to: Mom's with ADHD-Who else feels like a failure?? #71665

    THE IMPORTANT THING IS TO MAKE ONE POSITIVE DIFFERENCE EVERY DAY. When I cried during the day feeling so helpless at work, my kid told me he flunked a test, we get home with no electricity and we’re all screaming ’cause we’re SO sensitive and tired. And I scream: “Every body stop and breathe for 10 seconds.” And at 5 I start lighting up candles, keep breathing, and start taking out our favorite cereal, and the kids join in, and pour glasses of water. And we sit down with a pile of kid’s albums (books with pictures!), and we eat and I start reading. And they join in. And my unflexible husband, went in his office, but every bodies calm. And we migrate to the couch with the unread albums. And every body went to bed, not angry, not screaming, not crying… I made a positive difference, and I am happy.

    in reply to: Mom's with ADHD-Who else feels like a failure?? #71660

    It’s not every other family that does it easily. It’s a few. The ones you see. There are so many reasons why it’s gonna go sideways for some one some day: bad night, a cold, everything happening at once, sick kid, kid with a difficulty, snow storm, water heater broke, money problems (stress), no more food for lunches, 3 nights of activities in a row…

    in reply to: Mom's with ADHD-Who else feels like a failure?? #71655

    I like. So hard to do.

    in reply to: Mom's with ADHD-Who else feels like a failure?? #71651

    I work in a school. I am medicated. Very few families are perfect. A third of each class doesn’t do there homework. Do you want to hear the reasons? Every time there is an outing at least 2 kids make us late for whatever reason. Parents keep bringing things to school after 8h for their kids. Parents threaten to sue for every little thing. A third of the kids are not dressed accordingly to the season and then we get complaints if we send them out to recess or if we don’t. So… it’s safe to say… No body’s normal! Don’t be so hard on yourself. And maybe we could bend our expectations for ourselves a little especially if NO ONE ELSE helps out (partner, kids). If they expect more, they should do more. Who am I to talk? I just started my Christmas vacations in bed for 3 days. Total system shout down.

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